Chow mien and then none

Good christ. In a handbasket.

Everyone in the first floor of my coach on the 8:13 tonight was subjected to a cellphone conversation courtesy of a woman who took it upon herself to phone in a Chinese food take-out order during the ride home.

All kinds of stupidity ensued. The most awesome part of her phone call was when she lost her signal three times and three times had to call the restaurant back (including the times she left them hanging to consult with her boyfriend).

She spent 10 minutes discussing chow mein and then told the person she'd call them back. After having a 7 minute discussion with her boyfriend about whether the chow mien should have chicken or shrimp, it's eventually decided it will be plain chow mien which leads to the woman calling back the Chinese food place and continuing her order.

Then she got frustrated over her third dish. She couldn't figure out what to have for a third dish so she grilled the person taking her order about their popular dishes. This resulted in the first dropped signal. Many of us blew out a collective sigh of relief because I am certain I wasn't the only one who wanted to toss her ass off at Scarborough.

Her signal eventually returns only for her to lose the connection with the restaurant two more times as the train moves through the Rouge Valley.

I was pretty close to losing my cool. It's not so much that she was trying to order dinner, it was how f*cking dramatic she was being and how loud she was talking.

Finally after learning about the restaurant's top three dishes, she again tells the person taking her order she'll call back and she rings up the boyfriend to ask him which of the three dishes he prefers.

The whole train learns that he doesn't fancy any of the suggestions which then escalates into a fight between the two of them.

We're in Pickering by the time she hangs up on him and calls the restaurant back.

Once on the line, she tells them to cancel her order because her boyfriend doesn't want to eat what she wants to eat.

She got off at Ajax.

The guy across from me cheered. I swear. He looked around, caught my eye and said, "Yayyy!"

This led to a discussion between myself and him and five others about what a donkey this woman was.