"The matter at hand is not a laughing one" - I'll be the judge of that!

If you're new to the site or need to catch up, here's the background for this post.


Subject: Warning
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From: pxxx.sxxxxxxxxx.law@gmail.com
Date: Wed, Mar 9, 2011 at 4:21 PM
To: cj@thiscrazytrain.com


Dear Ms. Smith,

It has been brought to my attention that you are using the likeness and persona of my client on your website, www.thiscrazytrain.com without expressed written consent from my client.
This email is to serve notice that you have 24 hours to remove the offending photos or face further repercussion.

Regards,
Pxxx Sxxxxxxxxx
Attorney-at-law


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From: cj@thiscrazytrain.com
Date: Wed, Mar 9, 2011 at 5:35 PM
To: pxxx.sxxxxxxxxx.law@gmail.com


Dear ... Er, crap, I forgot your name already.

I get like that sometimes. Like, once I went into Costco for a loaf of bread, a container of milk and stick of butter and I walked out with a 52-inch Plasma tv instead. Boy was my mom mad!

But seriously, I'd love to help you with this request of yours, but you failed to disclose who your client is or what photos you're referring to... Oh snap... is this about the Garlic Crunch cereal box?

I feel privileged that you've emailed me from your personal email account, being all fancy-like with the word "law" in it, which is reassuring to me as I only like to deal with professional lawyers. I mean, why use fancy letterhead, right?

Regards,
CJ Smith

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From: pxxx.sxxxxxxxxx.law@gmail.com
Date: Wed, Mar 9, 2011 at 5:53 PM
To: cj@thiscrazytrain.com


My client is Kxxxx Pxxxxx and despite how funny you think you are, the matter at hand is not a laughing one.

It's my understanding that your logo now contains his likeness and is causing him stress and embarrassment.

He has indulged you by participating in your online forum with the hope that friendliness would persuade you to stop targeting him.

I am in the process of having your telephone number traced so I can obtain a mailing address for you in order to send the lawsuit.

Good day.

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From: cj@thiscrazytrain.com
Date: Wed, Mar 9, 2011 at 7:03 PM
To: pxxx.sxxxxxxxxx.law@gmail.com

Dear Mr. Sandman (not his real name),

This is the best laugh I've had in a while. Thank you.

I wasn't aware that blurry arms and semi-clenched fists constitute a trademark. Please forward Mr. Pxxxx's trademark information to my lawyer Mr. Howard Bigfird at howard_bigfird@thiscrazytrain.com and he will determine if I am in violation of any copyright or ownership of said body parts.

Regards,
CJ

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I hope KP likes baseball. Watch out for those flying bats, bro.

Original photo here
(Caption: Brooklyn resident, Mitch Davie, catches Atlanta Braves' Dan Uggla's rebel flying bat at a spring-training baseball game against the Toronto Blue Jays on Friday, March 4, 2011 in Kissimmee, Florida, without spilling his beer. Unknown man in grey hoodie waits patiently for a foul ball.)