To: cj@thiscrazytrain.com
Yesterday, my lips were on fire. I know this because when I went to go buy my weekly 10-ride ticket at Union yesterday, the lady at the counter exclaimed, "Wow, your lips are really red!"
I thought to myself, how bad could this be?
I startled a woman on the platform while waiting for my LSW train to ask if I could borrow a mirror. I suppose I could have just sauntered into the men's washroom in the Concourse but ... ew.
The lovely lass in the purple coat with the white scarf handed me a compact and I observed my lip situation. Yep, they were red. And chapped. And sore. And so was the skin around my mouth.
When I handed back her compact, she commented that my lips looked painful and she rummaged around in her bag, telling me as the train was pulling in that she had just bought some Chapstick and hadn't opened it yet. Then, she was distracted by someone she knew who said hello to her and she palmed me her Chapstick so I thanked her and she scooted off to join her friend, who was boarding.
Chapstick in hand, I boarded the train.
I don't profess to be a man who knows anything about everything but I am damn sure, that once I sat down, what she gave me was not Chapstick.
Keep in mind, I'm on the train here. It's definitely a tube but it's not Chapstick.
My wife picks me up at the station and when I climbed into the car, I tossed her the object and asked her if it was what I thought it was.
It was.
My wife made me take pictures and told me I *had* to email you. The whole time I was like, "Why is it out of the package?!"
My wife was too hysterical to answer. I couldn't find rubber gloves but I boiled my hands afterwards.
A note from CJ: I couldn't bring myself to publish the very last photo. But yes, it is what you think it is. If you still don't know what it is and you're dying to know, proceed to the comments.
17 comments:
I can't believe she slipped you a tampon.
If she was carrying it around in her purse, chances are the wrapper simply broke open and while searching for it, her fingers closed around this where by touch, it could easily be confused for a tube of Chapstick.
This post is by far, one of the best. Gross, but awesome at the same time.
OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDD!
LOL LOL LOL
What? I hope you never tell this woman!!!
Aw man. I laughed but I also threw up a little in my mouth ...
Hey, c'mon. The last photo was the best part. Just tell people it's an ear plug!
At least it wasn't used! Right??
It was definitely unused. There's no way I would have touched it otherwise. However, it's still cringe-worthy.
Sorry I don't see what is so cringe-worthy or gross. And the need to sterilize your hands after touching cardboard. It's clean, not used. What exactly is so horrifying?
Maybe I've been a nurse too long.
It is a funny story though.
...I boiled my hands...LOLOL!!!
Hey Kary
I think it's cringe-worthy to men. We just don't react well to feminine hygiene products. Same how my wife reacts to my jockstrap after a weekend of hockey.
I would think this would be more awkward than cringe-worthy. And if it was used, the "the thing with the string" would not still be inside. How's that for cringe-worthy? Is it because of where it goes?
It was a very funny story. Thank you
Poor man. He was so wierded out by this experience. What he didn't tell you is that it took him 15 minutes to realize that it was indeed not Chapstick and not some kind of wierd lip balm applicator stuffed with cotton.
HAHAHAHHAHHAHA
You have to excuse my wife, she's a pathological liar. We're getting her help.
I agree with Kary. Big deal, you touched a clean piece of cardboard. That hardly compares to a sweaty stinky jock strap.
I agree, hilarious story but hardly gross or cringe-worthy. It must be a giy thing. My ex would never go in my purse if I asked him to. I always said 'why noy, are you afraid a tampon is going to jump out and bite you'? Maybe I was right afterall :)
Seriously comparing a dirty jock strap after a weekend of playing hockey to a CLEAN unused tampon? I can see how it could be considered a bit gross but definitely not dirty jock strap gross. Hmmmm....? I've got it! An unused, unwrapped condom! Ok... I see it now... Kinda gross but not as gross as a say USED condom.... ew.
This is the best post I've ever read!!!! Lmao
But I'm dying to see the last photo
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