Your burning question ... answered and why it can't possibly be possible

For the gazillionth time (is that even a word?)

I DO NOT WORK FOR GO.

If I did ...

(insert Scooby Doo dream sequence)

• trains would be on time everyday;



• people would let everyone board and find a seat while standing patiently on the platform before boarding and THEN stand near the doors - door police would be on-hand to make it so;



• there would be a dining car;
  


• beverages would be available from a concession machine bolted to the wall above the three-seater bike area;
  


• CSAs would speak in a soothing, Barry White voice (even the women);
  


• the seats would be specially designed to deliver electric shocks when sensors come into contact with the soles of feet;
  


• every coach would have a pinhole camera wired to a central monitoring station where bag riders would be addressed through the PA and asked to remove their bags from seats;



• stops and other service information would be displayed via LED screens mounted in the center of coaches so hearing-impaired people know when to get off;



• there would be a luggage car;



• parking lots would be monitored every day, hour by hour, by a security guard in a golf cart or on an ATV and "park how I want to asshole donkeys" would be ticketed - every time, but only when spots are available and it was just pure laziness on the donkey's part;



• Presto top-ups would be instantaneous;



• shelters on the platforms would be heated;



• escalators would return to Union station and elevators would really be used by those who need them;



• the garbage receptacles on the trains would be larger;



• when the CSAs announce the doors are closing, they actually close;



• there would be a large countdown timer on each platform, visible from the farthest end of the parking lot so people know exactly, right down to the second, how much time til the train leaves;



• lasers would be mounted on platforms with nicotine-seeking sensors that would deploy when someone lights a cigarette and emit a charge that would disintegrate the cigarette on contact.

(end of Scooby-Doo dream sequence)

So, as you can tell, I don't work for GO.