Monday, May 16, 2011

There are things about sausage I just don't care to know

I'm on the 453 lse. There's a woman kitty-corner to me deeply engrossed in a cellphone call with a friend (I think). The topic is sausage.

Let's call the lady making the call SC - short for Sausage Call.

SC: I don't care for Polish.

(Pause)

SC: The last time I ate Polish I had heartburn that kept me up all night.

(Pause)

SC: It's too big. They make it too big. Sausage shouldn't be so long.

(Speak for yourself lady)

SC: The ones at Halenda's are tough. It's like when I bite into it, I'm waiting for juice but don't get any...

(Pause. Must... Not... Go... There...)

SC: Exactly, you want something on the first bite.

(Pause)

SC: Italian? No.

(Pause)

SC: The last time I had those, they ran right through me. Um ... Some kind of Johnson?

(Yes, she said 'Johnson')

SC: Johnsonville? Yes, at Metro. Too short... Never fits the buns.

(I swear this is a real conversation)

SC: So what do you want? Who has Oktoberfest? Sobey's?

(Pause)

SC: Okay, if you say they're the right size, we can have those. They better be juicy.

... And cue graphic ...

6 comments:

  1. adam m.May 16, 2011 at 10:56 PM

    I sat behind the woman you're talking about. Before she started talking about sausages, she was talking about purex laundry detergent. This woman is a walking dictionary about soap. And sausages. She never shuts up actually. Usually she's on the phone with her daughter giving a running play by play on where the train is at that very moment.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMay 17, 2011 at 8:35 AM

    haha sounds kinky. but also annoying

    ReplyDelete
  3. henryMay 17, 2011 at 9:26 AM

    i love conversations taken out of context!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. BCMay 17, 2011 at 9:31 AM

    It's the graphic that totally seals it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. BickyMay 17, 2011 at 2:26 PM

    Reminds me of those scenes on Three's Company where only one side of a conversation was heard through a door or something. Hilarity ensues!

    Come and knock on our door,
    We've been waiting for you....

    ReplyDelete
  6. karyMay 17, 2011 at 7:56 PM

    look at the juice dripping out of that guys mouth

    ReplyDelete

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