This is a throwdown, a showdown, hell no ... it's gonna go!

This story is better if you chant "Jerry!" "Jerry!" "Jerry!" and pick up an office chair and get ready to throw it.

Okay, so last night, I took the 6:43. The departure door donkeys were at the ready on Platform 11, jumping the queue on those of us standing on 12 (the platform for boarding) and on hops on a woman who likes to complain to anyone who will listen about all the errors of GO's ways, etc. I've noticed her and listened to her before.

The last time I encountered her, the doors did not open on 11 and she had to hoof her way down to the accessibility coach and pass through to get to 12. She declared her displeasure to the whole coach going so far to call the CSA an asshole.

She should look in the mirror.

She settles into a seat and proceeds to barricade herself into the quad by placing bags on every seat around her. This is a woman who likes to bitch about the CSAs and all of the things they say wrong, plus she annoys me with the fact that she projects. Loudly.

Okay, so this older gent climbs on and he makes an attempt to sit in her quad. She leans forward as fast as a jackrabbit and tells him the seats are taken. He mumbled something I couldn't hear and she says there are lots of seats available and then settles back into her chair and keeps reading her magazine.

The man moves on.

Up next, a man with his kid (the one who wound up singing skiner-merinky-dink next to me for most of the ride). She tells him she's holding the seats and he says his son would like to sit near the window and all the other window seats are full (he had come from upstairs). She tells him that kids are supposed to be in the accessibility coach.

Say what?

So I get up and tell the man he and his son can sit where I was and I move to sit in the seat opposite of them. (Okay, start chanting ... but softly ...)

It's about one minute to departure and she's like a mole in a cabbage patch popping her head up and down to make it look like she's looking for someone. Clearly this is part of her ruse to secure her real estate of three seats. The CSA makes an announcement and makes mention of the buses available in Oshawa and this woman goes postal. Apparently, it annoys her that the sequence of the towns isn't in west to east order. For example, Courtice, Bomanville and Newcastle. Some of the CSAs will say Courtice, Newcastle and Bomanville. This angers her.

She yells, "Someone needs to buy Amanda a map" and blows out some air.

(Okay, start chanting louder... )

I speak up and say, to no one in particular, "Someone needs to tell Amanda to make an announcement about passengers keeping the seats free of bags so passengers boarding can sit near the window with their kids."

She does this exorcist-like movement (because I'm behind her) with her head and stares between the seats to see who spoke.

I look right at her.

The doors close. The CSA begins to speak again.

Talking over the CSA, she says to me between the seats, "I was waiting for a friend." I say, "There are lots of seats available."

She tells me to mind my own business. I tell her she's a hypocrite. She stands up. I start to look for where the tools are, just in case this gets ugly.

She points a finger at me and tells me again to mind my own business. I tell her that the train doesn't board on Platform 11 and that the CSAs don't owe her anything and what does it matter what order the buses are called out?

She glares at me. I'm telling you, she holds her stare for 7 to 8 seconds. I snap my gum. A tumbleweed rolls by.

Slowly, she sits down.

Point: me.

But it's not over. At Oshawa, when I came down the stairs, she walks right up to me and tells me she'll remember this.

Remember what? That she's an ass? I already know that. I asked her what that was supposed to mean?

I almost expected her to make a slicing motion across her neck.