Tuesday, May 31, 2011

This takes laziness to a whole new level

Text message from 905660XXXX
To 9054427423
31-05-2011
11:59:04 AM

Hey CJ, what up?
Last night I took the 10:13 on the LSE to head to Whitby and while on the platform, this guy went 'round the glass enclosure for the stairs down to Bay Street where he had a smoke and took a piss at the same time. I was fumbling for my iPhone to record this cretin when he caught my eye and asked me what I was looking at. He said, and I quote, "Haven't you seen a dick before?" I put my phone back in my purse and walked off. What a douche.

From 9054427423
To 905660XXXX
31-05-2011
12:14:23 PM

C'mon ... ewww.
I would have answered (while squinting real hard at his crotch), "Sorry, what dick?" And then I would have mumbled about having to fetch my reading glasses from my purse.

Text message from 905660XXXX
To 9054427423
31-05-2011
12:29:16 PM

Oh man, I don't have that kind of nerve. I would need to drink a whole bottle of rum before I could summon that kind of liquid courage. Honestly though, he's peeing (and smoking!) on a public platform! I'm not supposed to be startled or stunned?

From 9054427423
To 905660XXXX
31-05-2011
12:34:13 PM

I'm stunned that he asked you about his penis. Reminds me of a time when I was out clubbing and this guy came up to me and asked me if I wanted to dance. I crouched down a bit to meet his eyes and said, "No thanks, they're tired."

Text message from 905660XXXX
To 9054427423
31-05-2011
12:35:56 PM

Ha ha, but how does that relate to me looking at him pee? Are you suggesting I was thirsty?

From 9054427423
To 905660XXXX
31-05-2011
12:36:42 PM

What?! Good god woman! No! I just wanted to tell that story!

Text message from 905660XXXX
To 9054427423
31-05-2011
12:37:39 PM

LOL. Okay. Hope you publish my story!

3 comments:

  1. 905660XXXXMay 31, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    I swear I tried to take a video. I wasn't being lazy!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. C.J. SmithMay 31, 2011 at 4:17 PM

    No, no, noooooo. I meant the dude. Too lazy to use a washroom, like, on the train, or in Union!

    ReplyDelete
  3. AlMay 31, 2011 at 4:29 PM

    He wasnt really being lazy, I mean he was technically multitasking.

    Totally disgusting though, I mean there are toilets on the train for god's sake.

    ReplyDelete

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