Lovingly penned by Brent
Last Thursday - going north on the 5:17 Barrie. I should have known better, but I got on with only a minute to spare, and there weren't many seats left, so I sat in a three quarters full quad, on the aisle, across from a guy who's only maybe 5'8", but his legs are taking up most of the space between us. His knees graze mine. And again. And again.
Grab phone, headphones, glasses, soda from bag. Quickly thrust it down under my seat, banging it on his knees. He looks at me. I stare back. He stares. I stare back.
He stops the full slouch and sits up. I have won the first battle.
He grabs a book. Starts reading. Fidgets. Fidgets. Shakes head. Taps hand. Taps leg. Looks like a dude with either serious substance abuse or ADHD issues. Possibly both. Leans forward. Leans back. Leans so far forward that his book is grazing my phone, that I'm reading from. I look up. He ignores for a bit. Backs off.
The 5:17, btw, is the possibly most busy of the northbound trains on the Barrie line. We're on the upper deck, and there's a dozen people standing in the aisle. There is nowhere for me to go, and we haven't even hit York University yet. If this guy's trying to get me to move, it ain't working, and besides which, someone else will sit about 5 seconds after I leave.
I finish up the email I was reading. Grab trade paperback I'm reading. Guy leans forward. He is seriously invading my comfort zone for personal space. Actually, he's past anybody's personal space limit. His book bangs into mine. And again. And again. All the time, fidgeting, shifting weight on seat, leaning so far forward he's either got back issues or he's just trying to harass me.
I finally break. I look up and say "Do you mind?"
Nothing. Not a flinch. Either his headphones are way up, or he's feigning inability to speak English, which, given that he's reading something or other in English, I find hard to believe.
I escalate to my final phase of exasperation.
"HEY! JERK!" (large arm motion from me pantomiming pushing away from him) "BACK OFF!!"
Gasp. Silence on car now. Everyone heard me. I have a loud, loud voice that needs no amplification when speaking in public spaces. Everybody turns. I'm staring at him. Amused grins from quad across who's been following his antics and my growing frustration.
I hope he enjoyed his embarrassment.
Slunk off at Rutherford, nary a word to me.
The thing is I'm a small 5'7" guy. If you sit next to me, I move a little away from you. Sit across from me, I'll make sure I'm nowhere close to you. I can't figure out whether it was just the drugs and/or agoraphobia kicking in with him, or if he was Just Another Clueless F*ck On the Go. (JACFOG)
6 comments:
part missing: did he react to your outburst? what was his response?
WOW, I wish I had your courage. I bow to you.
He said "slunk off at rutherford,nary a work to me."
Who has ADD? lol
Yes, I have to agree, that's the busiest train up to our neck of the woods. Sounds like this guy was a total douchebag.
I had one asshat that I'd say was shorter than I, I'm 5'9, not mammoth tall but I have long legs and therefore do not slouch in the seats because of the already limited amount of leg room there is. This guy would not stop sending me evil looks, it was incredible. And I looked at his posture and he was slouching like a mofo. I'm sorry but I don't exactly like knocking knees with people, especially repeatedly, with people that I do not know. So I promptly fell asleep so I could avoid seeing this idiot sigh and send me dirty looks as though I was in the wrong.
Brent,
I wear a pair of boxing gloves and a mouth guard. You'd be amazed at the battles I win.
@ Brent
That asshole deserved a well placed kick to the bag.
@Ali: His reaction was taking out his earbuds, looking bewildered, put earbuds back in, and then settling in to his seat. He sat normally and read his book until his departure at Rutherford. Never said a freaking word.
I even wondered afterward if he was trying to execute some sort of bizarre performance art, the whole thing being as irrational as it was.
@lswgirl13 It wasn't courage. Low frustration tolerance is more like it. I'm also not afraid to embarrass myself once in a while.
@Anon what is with this shit? You and I don't come around looking to specifically piss these yahoos off, just looking for somewhere to sit until the ride's over. Way too much thought, I think, going on on their parts.
@Michelle I'm not so equipped. And I'm not looking for trouble either.
@Gary: It was contemplated. Oh. It was contemplated.
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