Email from Barbra GXXXXto cj@thiscrazytrain.com
Well here's what I had to deal with today, Ms. Crazy Train.
I'm 36 weeks pregnant. Time has come for me to rely on the elevators at Union to get me up to the Platform for the 3:13 LSE.
At around 3:06 pm, a gaggle of teenage girls, some heavily petting their teenage boyfriends, with one couple actually making out near the back of the car, decided to 'joyride' in the elevator designated for Platform 4-6. I saw them go up as I walked through the corridor and I saw them come down.
There were 7 (or more) of these yahoos in the elevator when the doors opened for me and I waited a beat for them to exit but they just stood there, so I stepped on. One kid says to another kid, "Don't push the button." Said it like I wasn't even there.
One girl pressed the Doors Open button and held it.
So I counted to 10.
Then I turned around to face them all, pointed to my belly and yelled at the top of my lungs, "I'm giving you all to the count of three to get the hell off this elevator before I unleash my pregnant hormones on all of you and deliver a torrent of fury that will guarantee I will give birth to a ninja baby right here in this elevator who will Crouching Tiger/Hidden Dragon all of your butts into your late twenties!"
They left. I can't say for sure that's exactly what I said but it's pretty darn close. There was definitely reference to hormones, birth and a ninja fetus.
My husband doesn't believe me because I'm the biggest wallflower to ever live but pregnancy really does make a woman lose all tolerance for BS.
I hope writing in to you gives me some credibility.
8 comments:
Good for you! No one should have to deal with rude teens. Congratulations on your impending arrival.
I love the headline!!!
My husband still doesn't believe me.
I love this story.
I am Facebooking it right now.
Barbra, your husband will never be able to comprehend what enrages a pregnant woman. I totally believe you.
The moral of this story?
never mess with a preggo bitch
Okay, so I see the entry this morning with the added picture (which I'm sure was not there yesterday when I first the post). I nearly choked on my oatmeal! Hilarious!
I wouldn't wanna be around you when you go into labour!!!
You are my hero!
A couple of years ago, my very, very pregnant wife would always ride the 5th car (with the CSA), just in case something happened. Almost every day, the trainman would have to guilt trip some guy into putting down the newspaper he was trying to hide behind, and give up his seat, so she didn't have to stand most of the way to Milton, one time even getting on the intercom to shame the entire coach for not offering her a seat. I learned early on *not* to mess with my darling wife during this time, some people obviously just don't get it...
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