In grade school, most likely you sat in the same desk everyday - a seat that was assigned to you.
In high school, I didn't have an assigned desk but I did notice that classmates would claim desks as theirs and sit in the same spot day after day.
Fast forward to college, university, etc ... people tended to keep the same spot.
I've noticed this same behaviour when taking courses for work. You show up at a seminar or classroom the first day, people find a seat, and you come back the next day and about 90% are back in the same seats.
Before I made the train friends I have now, I was a wanderer. I never sat in the same seat on the train each day. I exhibit this same behaviour when I take a course or have a work meeting. I'm a boardroom hobo.
An email came in yesterday from J.S.
She writes:
I was on the 4:10 LSE last night. I usually sit in the same car (any available seat) each day but changed last night because I had to get off in Ajax. This woman got on last night and said to her friend, "look someone is in our seats". I only had one seat and my bag was underneath it. Why are some people so set on sitting in the exact same seat each day?
Perhaps your readers can enlighten me.
I can't explain why people insist on sitting in the same location each day on the train but I can understand the desire to sit together with people they know.
This morning I boarded at Oshawa. My train friends were in their usual spots (they are creature of habits - your first clue!) and I went to join them. However, this man had bags and bags of Tim Horton coffee cup lids barricading the vacant seat in front of him and he seemed stunned when I asked to sit there. I gave it a minute and then decided to sit somewhere else. I have no patience for people who don't understand the train is shared space. It should be a given that you do your best to make your stuff fit without compromising a seat. Why is this such a difficult concept for people to grasp? To be courteous?
I have noticed on the 8:53 am train originating in Oshawa that people do sit in the same seats day after day and do express annoyance that when late, they've lost their spot to someone else. So what?
My opinion is those ladies were rude and the comment was uncalled for. They don't have "our seats". They can take their pick.
20 comments:
how can i be one of your train friends!?
Oh, I just love asshats like that.
One sniffed at me at the Aurora station as I was semi-slumbering in the corner of a quad one day - I get on in Barrie, so I don't know where everyone sits, and I didn't get the freaking seating chart. Something about "oh, he's new. We'll teach him."
I shot straight up. "Excuse me?"
"What are you going to teach me? Your fine sense of manners? Thanks, but no thanks."
Even her friends laughed at her. I don't think she said a word all the way to Union.
The worst part about these types is they have the same freaking conversation every day, usually about whatever TV show they favour from last night. Or what's for lunch. Or what Junior did in school. Never anything interesting, seamy, steamy, or revealing. Just prattling inanity.
I don't have train friends nor do I want any! I don't care where I sit but almost always on the same car. I gotta live a little and mix it up. YEP, I'm gonna be bold and sit on an entirely different car tonight! I'm livin' on the edge!
Brent. You nailed it.
Love the seating chart remark. Must use that.
@tim
My group of train friends is holding steady at 6. With me that's 7. We have room for one more and that makes us complete two full quads. Scary.
We talk from about Oshawa to Ajax (not all the time, usually we just draw comfort from knowing one another). After that, only Uncle and I are awake and reading or crackberrying so it's not as exciting as it sounds. We try to be respectful to those blabbering away on cellphones and keep our voices down. True story.
Because you know, it's about them. Not us.
Why on Earth would anyone want train friends? CJ, do you feel you don't have enough friends in your real life?
I don't understand the gaggle of friends or why people need to KNOW someone on the train. It's annoying to those of us who prefer to mind our own business.
Real life?
Huh?
Getting on the train and going to work is my real life. I spend almost three hours a day on a train so I do consider it part of my real life.
I used to be like you. I used to have the best "please don't talk to me" bitch face. I used to practice in the morning in the bathroom mirror, confident I had it nailed.
Riding the train isn't a fantasy land I've created for myself. The people on the train are as much as real people going about real lives as me.
Charlotte was the first train friend I made. How can anyone not be friends with her?! I found talking to her made my morning commute more enjoyable. Then, slowly, we got to know the people who sat regularly around us. Jill is someone who figured me out but the rest were just drawn in and I have to give Charlotte credit. She has a fantastic personality.
I do have friends but what's wrong with more? It's interesting how well the 7 of us have connected but we all know the rules. No one feels "obligated" and each one is free to sit somewhere else if they just prefer to have me time. We do it all the time.
I'm not going to defend the practice of train friends or justify it. I know it's not for everyone but I've come 'round to it and I enjoy it. Life is too short to ride it alone.
Lest anyone think I'm a misanthrope, I do know a couple people on my train(s) and will socialize from time to time.
That said, I'm a suburban dad who spends long hours commuting and a job that involves being around people a great deal. The only down time I have to read/think/be is on the Go. So I choose to mostly hang back by myself. I fault no one for socializing. Just don't be an idiot about it, or you'll read about it.
Here.
Disagree. The train would be much more enjoyable if everyone just shut the hell up. The ride home is the worst. I don't give a shit about another person's day. I'm not saying don't talk. Talk away, but just don't talk to me. I'm with Brent. I enjoy the train as my ME time. Why anyone else would want train friends is foreign to me no matter how you explain it. Sorry CJ. You lose this round.
@Nancy
I don't recall trying to win anything.
Everyone is entitled to their opinions; there's no right or wrong here.
CJ forgets there are some of us who have also figured her out. I sit on the first coach and tend to sit with my friends and near CJ and her friends in the morning.
They're a funny bunch. One talks a little too loud but otherwise, they're respectful and it's probably because CJ keeps them in line. She gives a good "side eye".
I've been commuting for 7 years and have two good train friends who I now cottage and BBQ with. I wouldn't trade them for anyone else.
Talking on the train with someone is not for everyone. CJ has written about this numerous times and has provided humorous anecdotes of her own situations.
There's no reason to be rude when it comes to seats. Until there is a seating chart, people are free to sit where they want.
If God didn't want us to talk on GO trains she wouldn't have invented iPods.
@Carol
Rotary Dial, is that you?!
I don't wear headphones and I don't read. I guess I'm strange but I wish I had a train friend.
(sawing butter knife on wrist)
Riding the accessibility coach on the Milton line is quite interesting. Anyone who rides on it quickly gets to know the conductor and the other passengers on that coach. If you want peace and quiet on the Milton Line, do not ride here. We have seen babies grow up and leave us for kindergarten, everyone seems to end up in the same seats on a daily basis, and the conductors are so well known, we can read them like a book.
Once in awhile, most of us do something social off the train. Some of the conductors and engineers even show up. There is even a Facebook group for the Milton GO Train Gang.
I often ride this car because it happens to be closest to the stairs I take to get to the parking lot. With that being said, I know I have a choice to move to another car, or use headphones when I don't want to hear the same ladies talk about the same things over and over, when the sports banter from some of the guys becomes excessive, when Conductor Rick tries to hold his own and proclaim he is right and all knowing, or when Conductor Doug tries too hard to be funny first thing in the morning. I have found train friends on one of the other coaches but we don't often connect. If I happen to be on another coach, I can read or snooze to my stop. The walk to the stairs is not that painful.
Let's try getting along and be open to making the choice to sit somewhere new, or putting up with the outcome of becoming a creature of habit
Ummmm... The real question here is why did someone have THAT MANY coffee lids????!!!!!
I always sit in the east car because I use the Bay St exit and avoid union. I sit in the lower car, at the end, never in a quad. Buying a ipad has been the best! I watch 2 movies a week on my commute. Nothing against Go friends, I'm just not interested in making friends with anybody on the train.
Funny though, about 4 months ago a man showed up for the morning train, and he sits in "my" seat, and crosses his legs across both seats. At first I was annoyed that not only was he sitting in my fav seat, but he was hogging both. But I'm over it :-)
...it's sometimes nice to chat with people you get along with when you've a particularly frustrating day. That being said, I can totally understand how you could get sucked into a group of train buddies that you'd rather just leave you alone.....I like my train buddies, but most days I still just keep my headphones on and fiddle with my crackberry.
However, I do try and aim for the same seat everyday. I find it's the seat that gets me off the train the quickest. If someone else is in "MY" seat when i get there I don't make a big deal of it....a simple kick to the shin usually gives them the hint.
You do a great job, Uncle, at ignoring us all!
That's nothing - there's a guy on my early morning LSW train that doesn't want anyone else to get on the train before him. Which is weird, because these last two cars are about 75% empty, so he's GONNA get a seat. Twice he actually made contact with me to barge onto the train first when it didn't stop right in front of him.
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