Thursday, August 18, 2011

Hey! Don't crowd me, bro

Had a big boy sittin' across from me this morning (7:53 Oshawa-Union).

He got busy reading his newspaper, carefully, from front to back. He also got busy spreading himself across the quad I was in. Had his legs splayed wide open giving me a great view of his grapefruit bag, with a banana tucked in just so.

The woman next to him was trapped. She and I spent most of the train ride not even trying to hide we were talking about this man and his girth. He had 100% managed to tune us out.

I will tell you though, his pants were on so tight that those grapefruit of his were gonna be producing juice pretty soon.


17 comments:

  1. heatherAugust 18, 2011 at 12:08 PM

    omg ... 2 funny

    ReplyDelete
  2. ShaunaAugust 18, 2011 at 12:46 PM

    OMFG! Too much!

    That poor woman beside him is so crowded.

    What a self-absorbed asshat!

    ReplyDelete
  3. SquigglesAugust 18, 2011 at 12:53 PM

    What that lady needed to do was to stand up for herself.

    She paid for that seat... she should take as much room as she wants - within the confines of that seat.

    I betcha, had she not shrunk into the corner, sat properly, the behemoth beside would have inched over so that 1 butt check was hanging off or moved to a different quad.

    ReplyDelete
  4. C.J. SmithAugust 18, 2011 at 12:59 PM

    Believe me, things were said.
    I don't think he spoke English or understood it very well which very much explains why he was concentrating so hard on the paper. It took him the whole train ride to get through it.

    It was pretty comical. I kept banging his paper, too.

    ReplyDelete
  5. VanessaAugust 18, 2011 at 1:57 PM

    I'm one of those nice people who lets others have two arm rests if they choose (I only use one, myself). However, that's just ridiculous.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousAugust 18, 2011 at 2:07 PM

    As someone who likes to sit under the stairs, I'm constantly dealing with men in the middle seat who spread their legs as far as they'll go. Once I tried subtly pushing back with my leg but after a few minutes I realized he probably liked it. If only I had a portable plexiglass barrier I could erect around myself!

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousAugust 18, 2011 at 2:24 PM

    hahaahah portible plexiglass barrier, lol I smell the dragons den?

    ReplyDelete
  8. lswgirl13August 18, 2011 at 2:34 PM

    Grapefruit bag . . . hahaha!

    There are men like this every friggin' day, they settle in and get all comfy for the ride TOTALLY oblivious to those around them.

    Squiggles, like most, I would love to be able to say something like "perhaps you'd like to sit on my lap?" but I never do.

    HEY, you joke about the plexiglass barrier but I've often thought GO should install some sort of divider but then they'd pass the massive cost onto the riders.

    ReplyDelete
  9. SquigglesAugust 18, 2011 at 3:05 PM

    @lswgirl13: I have actually mentioned it to the person. Then dug my elbow into their ribs. But then again, I am the "star" of the post submitted by MS with the drawing of the stinky foot rider.

    I have only been on the GO for almost 3 years, 2 of which has been the LSE. And I am irritated with people already.

    ReplyDelete
  10. donnaAugust 18, 2011 at 3:08 PM

    That happened to me once. I just said in a voice loud enough for many to hear "hey buddy, I'm sure that whatever you've got going on between your legs isn't so big that you can close them a little more so that the rest of us can have some breathing room". He turned red and closed his legs.

    ReplyDelete
  11. lswgirl13August 18, 2011 at 3:25 PM

    WOW, you guys have balls (so to speak)! I can't even bring myself to say hi to my train crush.

    ReplyDelete
  12. SvejAugust 18, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    There's a man on the LSW with a really disproportionately large rear-end. Like I can't understand how it is so big, I don't even know. It scares me. Actually no, what scares me more is how he deliberately sits in front of young females and keeps glancing at their chest for the whole ride... CREEP.

    ReplyDelete
  13. BickyAugust 18, 2011 at 4:53 PM

    After riding the train for 20 years, I think I've seen and heard just about everything. Once in a while I come across something new. I've had asshats like this guy sit a across from me and beside me.... ugh.

    ReplyDelete
  14. lsW Go-erAugust 18, 2011 at 5:59 PM

    Last Fri I took the 2:43 LSW for the first time in a while. The car was totally empty so I sat myself down in a quad by the window. No sooner to I get comfy, this a-hole sits directly in front of me. Idiot couldnt even sit in the aisle seat if he really wanted to sit in MY quad. I gave him a look and mubbled something...He got this idiotic grin on his face like "oh, you caught me" and moved immediately...I'm really glad I spoke up.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Dan-1August 18, 2011 at 11:02 PM

    Spill the coffee on his leg, and he might get the message.

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousAugust 19, 2011 at 8:55 AM

    What's the man version of camel toe? LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  17. SquigglesAugust 19, 2011 at 9:06 AM

    @ Anon: The male version of a camel-toe is "Moose Knuckles"

    ReplyDelete

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