You asked for more crazy text messages. Here's a gem for you. This was emailed right from my phone from a BBM exchange with a dude who pinged me. I allowed him access and he promptly burned down the friendship bridge.
Participants:
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CJ Smith. Ridin' this crazy train, SiddiqiRs4
Messages:
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SiddiqiRs4: I just phone you.
SiddiqiRs4: Hi. I just phone you again
SiddiqiRs4: I have a go train question
SiddiqiRs4: Are you there?
SiddiqiRs4: Hello?
CJ Smith. Ridin' this crazy train: Just a hint, when you send BBMs, my phone stores them. You don't need to repeat yourself.
SiddiqiRs4: How come you didn't answer your phone???
CJ Smith. Ridin' this crazy train: Because I don't recognize the number.
SiddiqiRs4: But you answer BBM?
CJ Smith. Ridin' this crazy train: Yes, I answer BBM.
SiddiqiRs4: Please pick up when I call.
CJ Smith. Ridin' this crazy train: No dice.
SiddiqiRs4: Why?
CJ Smith. Ridin' this crazy train: No talk plan. Only friends and my nan on My10.
SiddiqiRs4: But I'm calling you?
CJ Smith. Ridin' this crazy train: Doesn't matter, it's my air time.
SiddiqiRs4: But it's after 9pm
CJ Smith. Ridin' this crazy train: Does your mother know you're still up?
SiddiqiRs4: Ha, funny girl. Wanna join me in my bed?
CJ Smith. Ridin' this crazy train: Seriously?
SiddiqiRs4: Serious as cancer, baby.
CJ Smith. Ridin' this crazy train: Er, no thanks. I'd be first in line for chemo.
SiddiqiRs4: Ha, ok.
CJ Smith. Ridin' this crazy train: Are you for real? This is how you troll for a lay?
SiddiqiRs4: I don't need to troll for women.
CJ Smith. Ridin' this crazy train: Right. You need just a phone. And a random PIN from the internet.
SiddiqiRs4: You're not random.
CJ Smith. Ridin' this crazy train: Dude, you said you had a GO question.
SiddiqiRs4: Yeah. Do you ride to or bottom?
CJ Smith. Ridin' this crazy train: I ride to Union Station. On a train. Everyday.
SiddiqiRs4: You're no fun. I meant top or bottom
CJ Smith. Ridin' this crazy train: Oh my god. I can't believe I finally encountered a Super-Douche. You just committed an epic fail when it came to pulling some lame-ass innudendo and still, you keep typing.
SiddiqiRs4: Don't call me a douche. That's not nice. I'm just trying to have fun with you. You know what your problem is?
CJ Smith. Ridin' this crazy train: Gee, lemme guess. Some random dude who can't take a hint?
SiddiqiRs4: No. You need a good man to show you (censored).
CJ Smith. Ridin' this crazy train: Right. Okay dude, look, I'm only here for the funny. And you're not funny.
SiddiqiRs4: I can be a funny guy.
CJ Smith. Ridin' this crazy train: Hang on, let me scroll up and see if I can find the funny.
CJ Smith. Ridin' this crazy train: Nope. Can't find it.
At this point, the conversation got heated with language not worth repeating. But needless to say, it resulted in me finding my "late at night parking lot" whistle, calling him and blowing as loud as I could into the speaker of my BlackBerry when he answered. Never heard from Super-Douche again. Blocked him from my BBM.
3 comments:
YAY! Love the ending. I never think of doing that. Of course, don't actually have the whistle.
I also love how the "crazy" always seems to be a closet psychologist ready to tell you what your problems are.
I loved the twisted path that conversation took! I was thinking it was another lost person who had mistaken CJ for a GO employee.....
CJ I can't see you b/c your awesome nice is too bright! Keep 'em coming.
oops *awesomeness
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