*Note. My replies are in green.From: 90572595XX
To: 19054427423
November 8 2011 04:40 PM
Hey. CJ? I just sent you a pic.
From: 19054427423
To: 90572595XX
November 8 2011 04:44 PM
I don't have any pic messages!
From: 90572595XX
To: 19054427423
November 8 2011 04:44 PM
I just sent it. Sorry. Hopefully it's not too big and stuck in bb purgatory. I'm on 4:25 LSE. This is good what I'm gonna share with you.
From: 19054427423
To: 90572595XX
November 8 2011 04:45 PM
It better be good. I don't like to be kept waiting. Wait ... it's here.
From: 19054427423
To: 90572595XX
November 8 2011 04:46 PM
Okay??? This is random.
From: 90572595XX
To: 19054427423
November 8 2011 04:47 PM
That man in that pic is currently sexting his gf. He's married. I know because he's mentioned his wife when he rides with his train buddy and the person he is sexting is not his wife because he just told his whore his wife is going to her mom's this weekend.
From: 90572595XX
To: 19054427423
November 8 2011 04:49 PM
He's not even attempting to hide the texts. So far I've read that he's found this leather outfit with holes in all the right places and he wants to dress her in.
From: 19054427423
To: 90572595XX
November 8 2011 04:49 PM
What? My eyes. They burn. Please, go on.
From: 90572595XX
To: 19054427423
November 8 2011 04:51 PM
OH GOOD JESUS! He just wrote her that he's had to shift his legs because she's made him hard as a rock thinking about her tongue and what she did last time.
From: 19054427423
To: 90572595XX
November 8 2011 04:51 PM
Girl! You are LYING!!!
From: 90572595XX
To: 19054427423
November 8 2011 04:53 PM
I swear it's true. She's describing in great detail some kind of helicopter manoeuver they have to try.
From: 19054427423
To: 90572595XX
November 8 2011 04:53 PM
No. Please no.
From: 90572595XX
To: 19054427423
November 8 2011 04:54 PM
And I am certain this guy has laid down some pipe because he's hunched over now as he types. I can't see what he's writing now. Dammit!
From: 19054427423
To: 90572595XX
November 8 2011 04:55 PM
You know what? Now is the perfect time to ask him to move so you can get up and go to the bathroom. Will you do it?
From: 90572595XX
To: 19054427423
November 8 2011 04:56 PM
Hells ya. Just a sec. You want me to try to snap a photo of his wood?
From: 19054427423
To: 90572595XX
November 8 2011 04:56 PM
ROTFL. Yes. I can't breathe. LOL. Do it.
From: 90572595XX
To: 19054427423
November 8 2011 04:57 PM
K. Gonna ask now.
From: 90572595XX
To: 19054427423
November 8 2011 04:58 PM
Ok, he didn't move. He just moved back and put his hands in his lap with the phone and the lady across from him got up to let me out. Shit. Guess I'm standing...
From: 19054427423
To: 90572595XX
November 8 2011 04:59 PM
No, just walk down and come up the other way and sit back down. Or, ask the guy to hold your seat for you.
From: 90572595XX
To: 19054427423
November 8 2011 04:59 PM
I have a bottle of water I can drop on his lap when the train jerks.
From: 19054427423
To: 90572595XX
November 8 2011 05:01 PM
No don't do that. Can you go back to the seat or are you standing?
From: 90572595XX
To: 19054427423
November 8 2011 05:03 PM
I'm just standing. Some other guy has my seat. Told the lady my butt was cramped so now I'm standing next to helicopter pilot. I can sort of see what he's texting.
From: 19054427423
To: 90572595XX
November 8 2011 05:03 PM
And ... ?
From: 90572595XX
To: 19054427423
November 8 2011 05:05 PM
He's telling her he can't get off this train fast enough so she can give him some sweet relief.
From: 19054427423
To: 90572595XX
November 8 2011 05:06 PM
The HELL?! LOL!
From: 90572595XX
To: 19054427423
November 8 2011 05:07 PM
Ok he looked up briefly because I guess he could tell I was boring a hole in his skull with my eyes. He's bouncing his left leg up and down.
From: 19054427423
To: 90572595XX
November 8 2011 05:07 PM
Well no wonder, all the blood has rushed from his leg to his other leg and I don't mean that leg. Tripod. Kickstand.
From: 90572595XX
To: 19054427423
November 8 2011 05:08 PM
She JUST sent him a pic. He looked at it pretty fast but it was either a green garden hose green or Christmas garland wrapped around her body.
From: 19054427423
To: 90572595XX
November 8 2011 05:08 PM
Wow. So definitely not the wife.
From: 90572595XX
To: 19054427423
November 8 2011 05:09 PM
No. No way. He's definitely cyber-cheating or actually cheating. Can't tell because you know people can hook up online and not really follow through. But he's making arrangements for her to come over to the house. Asking if she likes strawberries and chocolate and if she ever wanted to lick chocolate off ... I can't bring myself to type it.
From: 19054427423
To: 90572595XX
November 8 2011 05:11 PM
Ugh. Poor wife. Asshole.
From: 90572595XX
To: 19054427423
November 8 2011 05:11 PM
I know. It's okay. Karma will strike. It always does.
What fantastic prose - porn-to-go. What a jerk - doesn't care where or when he gets it on. Ugh. Love your comments, though. He's a man-whore ditch-pig. Probably gets chuffed if dinner isn't on the table when he saunters in. Hmmm. Wonder where he sourced the leather thingy??
ReplyDeleteI bet he has a small weenis
ReplyDeletedoesn't chuffed also mean something else....?
ReplyDeleteNow my user name is somehow appropriate, but can't think of anything clever to post that's topically, oh well - dude is a pig and he will get caught, I just pray he didn't reproduce already!
Even if he didn't actually perform any intimate acts with this person, sending racy texts and pictures would be enough to constitute cheating.
ReplyDeleteIf I found out my boyfriend was doing this, I would be absolutely devastated.
That would last about a minute. Then I'd give him a swift kick to his jewels.
Yeah, yeah, it's wrong blah blah blah but it's none of our business. I want to know more about this helicopter position. Anyone?
ReplyDeleteBest. Text exhange. Ever.
ReplyDelete(b/w the reader and CJ)
love it! hilarious.
ReplyDeleteThis got me to thinking about this site: http://www.darwinawards.com/
ReplyDeleteAn award is given to people who, through an act of their own stupidity, either prevent themselves from procreating, or remove from the gene pool entirely via death-by-stupidity. Stories are verified if possible, and if verification can’t be done, they are advertised as unverified, or urban legend...so you know for sure who the real morons are.
That's become my new favorite #1 text exchange!!! Just great!!!
ReplyDeleteVanessa - I agree, it's cheating. IMO even a cyber thing is cheating. BUT that said, people cheat for all kinds of reasons, nobody's perfect.
And yes, like Anon, I'm intrigued about the helicopter position? Is there an instructional video somewhere?
Sexual act with the female on top. The female does a split and inserts lubed penis into vagina. The male then grabs hold of the female's legs and spins her around rapidly, similar to that of a helicopter's blades.
ReplyDeleteHas a high failure rate, roughly 100%. Failure results in Female either falling over or vomiting, and Male losing penis.
Theoretically, a successful helicopter, if done fast enough, could generate lift for the female for about 2 seconds. There have been 3 reported cases of success, but they were all in Japan so you never know.
Nah, although I'd consider myself quite bendy, I think I'll pass. I don't want to have to explain what happened to the EMS.
ReplyDeleteI don't know, it could be fun to see the reactions on their face. Then at the hospital when they haul your crippled body in.
ReplyDelete