To: 19054427423
November 5 2011 04:54 PM
so as you know christmas is coming.
From: 19054427423
To: 41660485XX
November 5 2011 04:54 PM
Have we not done away with that damn holiday yet?
From: 41660485XX
To: 19054427423
November 5 2011 04:55 PM
as far as i know the church has made no effort to do away with anything. i wanted to ask you about the bake sale
I know this is cruel. I know I should tell this person they've texted the wrong number but just simmer down and play along. You know I never disappoint.
From: 19054427423
To: 41660485XX
November 5 2011 04:56 PM
I can't remember what I made last year. Was it matzo balls?
From: 41660485XX
To: 19054427423
November 5 2011 04:57 PM
um no.... you made a trifle. fr george was hoping you would make again but not put so much sherry in it. he found it too strong and said he got a big headache
From: 19054427423
To: 41660485XX
November 5 2011 04:57 PM
Well maybe he should not have eaten the whole trifle.
From: 41660485XX
To: 19054427423
November 5 2011 04:58 PM
ha ha, no kidding. so can you make another trifle? but no sherry
From: 19054427423
To: 41660485XX
November 5 2011 04:59 PM
No way, no dice. I have to put a wee bit of sherry in it. It's what gives it that kick. Besides, it's the Queen's own recipe. I would feel awful if I deviated from hundreds of years of tradition.
From: 41660485XX
To: 19054427423
November 5 2011 05:01 PM
really? i'll have to rember to put that on the price tag that's a royal family favourite. i like the sound of that. do you have other royal recipes?
From: 19054427423
To: 41660485XX
November 5 2011 05:02 PM
Man, you triflin'. All I can manage right now is the trifle. When do you need it by?
From: 41660485XX
To: 19054427423
November 5 2011 05:14 PM
you don't sound yourself. are you sick or something. fr. george would like all the baked goods in by tonight by 10pm. the kitchen is open just go through the back
From: 19054427423
To: 41660485XX
November 5 2011 05:17 PM
What is the exact address of the church? I only know it to look at it but I've been meaning to get the full address for some other stuff I'm doing. Complete. With postal code.
From: 41660485XX
To: 19054427423
November 5 2011 05:17 PM
sure. i can email you the complete address later. can you be there by 8?
From: 19054427423
To: 41660485XX
November 5 2011 05:24 PM
Just give me the address now. This way I can program it into my friend's new GPS so I can show her how it works
From: 41660485XX
To: 19054427423
November 5 2011 05:24 PM
i don't know the postal code after by heart but it's 51 King Street. you better start baking.
And here I was hoping it would be some unique address that I could google because I had every intention of making a trifle and bringing it by just to see the reaction...
From: 19054427423
To: 41660485XX
November 5 2011 05:25 PM
So to confirm it's 76 King Street Rimdhstd, Ontario ajdklue sdju 0:jjk ROGERS SYS OP ERROR // 6785
I was hoping this would frustrate the person and they would type in the complete address, but no ...
From: 41660485XX
To: 19054427423
November 3 2011 05:26 PM
what?! Elaine? i think there's something wrong with your phone???
From: 19054427423
To: 41660485XX
November 5 2011 05:27 PM
This is Rogers text support. The customer you are trying to reach is not within your zone. Pleas e wait 15 minutes and try contacting the customer again.
From: 41660485XX
To: 19054427423
November 5 2011 06:50 PM
is your phone fixed now?
From: 19054427423
To: 41660485XX
November 5 2011 06:54 PM
I didn't know it was broken. How can I help you?
From: 41660485XX
To: 19054427423
November 5 2011 06:54 PM
is elaine there?
From: 19054427423
To: 41660485XX
November 5 2011 06:55 PM
This is Cindy. I think you have the wrong number.
From: 41660485XX
To: 19054427423
November 5 2011 06:56 PM
oh ok. there were some problems before. i think your number got crossed with a friend of mine. do you know Elaine?
From: 19054427423
To: 41660485XX
November 5 2011 06:58 PM
No I can't say I do. Sorry I can't help.
From: 41660485XX
To: 19054427423
November 5 2011 06:58 PM
so you don't know how to make a trifle?
From: 19054427423
To: 41660485XX
November 5 2011 06:59 PM
I can make a trifle but I don't think I'm the person you're looking for to help with a trifle.
From: 41660485XX
To: 19054427423
November 5 2011 07:03 PM
well can you bake and most importantly, are you christian?
From: 19054427423
To: 41660485XX
November 5 2011 07:03 PM
Do I have to be Christian to make a good trifle?
From: 41660485XX
To: 19054427423
November 5 2011 07:21 PM
it's for a church bake sale so i think it would help. we're always looking for volunteer bakers.
From: 19054427423
To: 41660485XX
November 5 2011 07:21 PM
So a trifle made by an Atheist wouldn't be accepted?
From: 41660485XX
To: 19054427423
November 5 2011 07:23 PM
the priest would hope that you at least have some faith but i guess if you're a good baker but not a christian, beggers can't be choosers
From: 19054427423
To: 41660485XX
November 5 2011 07:24 PM
Before I commit to anything, have the priest call me and we'll chat about what is acceptable and not acceptable baked goods depending on religious affiliation
From: 41660485XX
To: 19054427423
November 5 2011 07:25 PM
he call you at this number?
From: 19054427423
To: 41660485XX
November 5 2011 07:25 PM
He sure can.
From: 41660485XX
To: 19054427423
November 5 2011 07:26 PM
ok, i will tell him. thank you for your help
I never got a phone call. I don't think I've ever been so offended in my entire life. My trifle is awesome and I went ahead and made one anyway. And ate it all by myself.
YOUR LOSS. MY WIN.
This made me laugh so hard I was crying.
ReplyDeleteReally? I mean it's funny but not crying funny. Actually, I was thinking. There's a huge disconnect for me on what you guys find funny. That "stand by me" post? I was in hysterics when I was putting it together and giggled about it while I was falling asleep. This post, about me being slighted over trifle, and it's crying funny? The hell?
ReplyDeleteThese text exchanges are the best!!! The best thing you ever did was publish your number online. High-larious.
ReplyDeleteBest wrong number text chat ever!
ReplyDeleteThat's the awesomeness I look forward to first thing in the morning. You never disappoint.
ReplyDeleteAnd that is one good looking trifle.
We can have dessert with breakfast right? Because that has me craving trifle like crazy.
ReplyDeleteWhile I agree CJ this isn't crying funny, I still have a stupid grin on my face - so WIN!
ReplyDelete+2 internets for you.
I also thought the Stand By Me stuff was funny, expecially the close up.
Good. Some Stand By Me recognition is all I'm after.
ReplyDeleteA friedn of mine used to have a home number very similar to a restaurant that offered take ou for pick up.
ReplyDeleteHe would regularly get calls with people asking for burgers or salads, he would simply say "yep, see you in 10 minutes.
I can only imagine what happend to some people who were in a rush and had to wait the 10 minutes after arriving to get the food they were sure they had already ordered. He he
Or have your phone number be 1 digit off for a doctor's office and listening to all the crazy voicemails (and personal information) people would leave?
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I found this entertaining for the first three months and then it got old real quick.
My old Oshawa # was 905 571 1434
ReplyDeleteThe phone number for Taxi/Taxi is 905 571 1234
Don't ask me how people managed to do it, but they'd dial my number, usually piss-drunk, usually at 2am and yell for a cab. I'd tell them they had the wrong number and they'd ask me to call the cab company for them because they were down to their last quarter (this is before the rise of the celly). I always did because the last thing I need is some drunk asshat in a car because he couldn't call a cab.
Then there were the little sweet ladies who would phone from the hospital only to misdial and get upset that the number was wrong and again, not have another quarter. I would always take their info and call Taxi/Taxi for them.
See, I am nice.
OMG I'm drooling. That trifle looks epic.
ReplyDeleteIf you want more trifle porn or see what other kinds of trifle is out there, just google trifle. Your head will explode.
ReplyDeleteMy girlfriend used to have a phone number that was one digit different at the end than that of a lady of the night from Brampton.
ReplyDeleteLet's just say there were some guys driving to all parts of the GTA looking for a good time.
Oh, and my trifle always tastes better with the Blood of Christ.
CJ, you are not to be trifled with.
ReplyDeleteClearly no trifling matter here
ReplyDeleteEveryday I'm triflin'
ReplyDeleteI think you should have still told them you were Elaine and told them you would bring the trifle. When Elaine shows up for mass the priest gives her the 'stink eye' from the pulpit and his sermon is about the evils of lying....and drinking sherry by yourself.
ReplyDeleteI was belly laughing too.
I just couldn't be that cruel
ReplyDelete:|