Tuesday, November 22, 2011

When a text message takes a wrong turn

I present to you, what happens when a person with good intentions, goes down in a blaze of glory.

I've stripped the remaining text headers out for y'all. My replies are in green.

Text message from 1416730XXXX
to 19054427423
Mon Nov 21 2011 06:55 PM

r u the go person?

Text message from 19054427423
to 1416730XXXX
Mon Nov 21 2011 06:59 PM

Hi! I am definitely a go-to person. What's up?

is this the go train site?

No.

so this isn't the crazy go site???

Yes and no.

wtf? are u the person who writes about go trains???

Yes, sometimes.

oh my f*cking god. just answer the question!!!

I did.

no u didn't.

is this ur website www.thiscrazytrain.com

Yes.

why didn't u just say yes!!!??????

Then I would be lying.

what?

You asked if I was the "go person"? I'm not.

jesus christ. r u really this slow??? obviously u new what i meant.

Au contraire, my friend. I get people who mistake me for a GO Transit employee so I like to be real upfront about who I am not.

whatever, k. i have a story 4 u.

Are there keys missing on your end? What are you using?

wtf?

Why are you typing like I'm charging by the letter?

who cares who i type. r u interested in my story or not????!

Sure. Shoot. Just don't type me as a class-A personality.

i don't feel lke tellin it 2 u NE more cuz ur being so rude

Your typing is giving me a headache. What's better for pain? Tylenol or Advil?

etf?

Are you trying to give me stock advice?

WTF?! r u on crack?

r u high?

I think you need some anger management courses.

i think u need a kick in the azz

Okay, why don't you name the place and time and I'll come by and show you some buns?

w/e. i'm out.

Have a good night. Don't forget to water your plants. Mark Cullen told me once that plants die if you just put them on the fireplace. Stupid guy. Knowing so much about plants. Please.

7 comments:

  1. I love how these people get all aggressive. Seriously, they've got drugs for that!

    ReplyDelete
  2. There needs to be a txt-speak to English dictionary out there.

    Besides, if this person is dumb enough to not ask the right question at the start, then get pissy about the answers, I doubt his/her story is any good.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Time to thin the herd.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I wonder how long it will be until someone adds keys to the qwerty key board for these people, press this key for "are", this key for "You"?!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Holy crap on a cracker, that was fantiddly-tastic. What a way to end my day. That totally helped with my headache. Aces!

    ReplyDelete
  6. That one's a real sharp tack. As sharp as one that someone has tried to drive into a concrete wall.

    Fun fact, typing "@" is actually more work than typing "at". You need to hold the shift key.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I don't understand why some ask. I mean, if they've typed the number in right and looks just it does on the website, why even ask if it's the right number? Bizarre!

    ReplyDelete

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