The Bitch
Scummy Dude
Random Passengers
and introducing...
Bus Driver as Bus Driver
in ...
BUS BEAT DOWN
(insert ominous, deep-voiced, movie trailer voice-over)
Sometimes in life ...
When the world seems out of control ...
You just have to take matters into your hands ...
(end of voice-over)
Scene 1:
Packed GO bus. Elderly man climbs on-board. Only seat available (AND ONE MARKED AS PRIORITY SEATING) is occupied by some Scummy Dude's backpack. Scummy Dude, who looks very able-bodied, sits reclined in the seat with earbuds in, music playing loudly and eyes closed. Passengers stream past without asking for him to move his backpack. Elderly man looks forlornly at seat and then reaches up to hold security bar while bus departs.
Scene 2:
The Bitch peeks up over the seat in front of her looking at the elderly man and then at Scummy Dude. She scowls. Bus makes a hard turn and elderly man is tossed to the side, grasping hard onto rail. The Bitch pulls out her earbuds and asks the man sitting next to her to get up so she can move into the aisle. Scummy Dude continues to rock out with his eyes closed.
Scene 3:
The Bitch offers elderly man her seat. Her former seat mate slides over to the window and the elderly man sits and smiles gratefully.
Scene 4:
The Bitch stands next to Scummy Dude. The bus makes another hard turn and she leans her entire body weight into Scummy Dude. Scummy Dude looks up and glares. He rips his earbuds out of his ears and tells The Bitch to "watch her lard" <- true story. The Bitch says she wouldn't have trouble keeping her balance if she HAD A SEAT and looks pointedly at Scummy Dude's backpack. Some passengers look nervously on hoping a full-scale fight doesn't transpire. Others look relieved someone decided to say something. A few people get off at the upcoming stop leaving seats available.
Scene 5:
The Bitch leans over and picks up Scummy Dude's backpack and hands it to him suggesting he put it in the overhead bin. Scummy Dude snatches his backpack and slams it down on the seat beside him and tells The Bitch "to get the fuck outta my face". The Bitch stares him down, heart hammering hard in her chest. Count to 10, she says in her head. A woman turns to speak to The Bitch. "Leave him alone and let us ride home in peace," she says. The Bitch looks at the woman incredulously. Scummy Dude is not entitled to his behaviour! The reason why Scummy Dude is Scummy Dude is because people like her let him get away with being Scummy Dude.
Scene 6:
Scummy Dude gets up and announces to the whole bus that "he's sick of this Fat Bitch and her bitching and that he's a paying customer and plans on calling GO transit to complain about harassment on the bus and that there's no rules sayin' he can't have his shit where he wants." He walks backwards, facing The Bitch as he approaches the front of the bus. "If I see you again." he threatens, "you'll be sorry". The Bitch ignores him. "Be quiet!" yells the Bus Driver to Scummy Dude. He stops the bus and opens the door. "Please get off the bus," Bus Driver says to Scummy Dude, who makes a dramatic exit, complete with giving The Bitch the finger and stomping off the bus. "Good riddance," says the elderly man, loudly.
Scene 7:
The Bitch looks at the woman who asked her to leave Scummy Dude alone. She looks away, scowling.
Scene 8:
The Bitch gets off at her stop, disappointed in society and her fellow passengers.
THE END
15 comments:
Should have tossed his backpack out the door. Not that I condone All Your Space, but it’s taken to a whole new level when one actually REFUSES to move their shit when all other seats are occupied and someone needs to sit down.
I'd want to slap the scum off him.
That was so riveting I had to read it twice! I think you got the character names wrong though - the enabler should be the bitch and you should be called the hero. Well done!
Ah, the sense of entitlement.
I agree Matt. Either toss the crap to the floor, or sit on it.
The latter is particular effective considering how I am a larger girl and when people see my backside coming at their crap, they move it.
Imagine when GO tells him there are rules preventing him from putting his luggage on the seats. See GO Tariff, section 29 Baggage: (condensed) "objects which they can carry and which will not cause any inconvenience to other passengers."
OMG that's so scary and awesome. At least people on the ttc have the good sense to look sheepish when you ask them to move. I've never seen anyone refuse to move their stuff!
May I lead the standing ovation for this performance? Bravo!
I am really upset that the bus driver doesn't get involved.....I very disgusted at loser lady who asked you to leave the dirt bag alone!
You rock CJ!
I was picturing a certain type of person when I read the description, and once I saw the photo, my assumption was correct.
Those types of people make my brain bleed.
Missed an opportunity to say that whilst i may be a larger person i can do something about it. You son, are a fuckwit for life. Do the human race a favour. And leave it.
The hero is also the bus driver. Kudos to him for booting the scum off the bus. I hope it was far from this final destination.
I am more dismayed by the enabler (the cow who came to the defence of the fuckwit).
She probably practices by "rescuing" her brats from rightful consequences at school...
I run into her kind more and more often every year.
un-freak'n believable! I can't get over the lady who said to leave him alone! It's no wonder these scum feel so entitled when people are so willing to let it slide.
Driver should have jammed the brakes quickly and shouted "squirrel" so scummy would have fallen backwards,
I think "the bitch" is actually the woman in scene 5. I would have tossed her sorry ass off with scummy dude.
Post a Comment