How you know Spring has come to the GO train

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This made my morning

Were you on the 4:30 or 5:10 afternoon trains yesterday?

Both trains were brought to a standstill when encountering a stalled train outside of Pickering. I was on the 5:10 and submitted a Service Guarantee credit.

You can request a credit by filling out this form on GO's website. I would suggest you click the "Does my trip qualify?" button first before submitting a request.

What's interesting is that passengers who were on the train that experienced engine failure (4:25) have been told a decision about credit eligibility is pending.

Not an axe, blowtorch or chainsaw

I'm gonna sit on the train and stare menacingly at foot riders and bag riders while slapping this spatula against an open palm. Imma slap you across the thigh! Weapon of choice, right here.

Actually, as nice of a Scooby-Doo fantasy that is, I bought this spatula to replace the piece of crap Starfrit  spatula I had. It broke in two last night while I was folding blueberries into a banana bread mixture. It was a spatula classified for use in dense dough and heavy mixing. Lies!

Eff you, Starfrit. You piece of junk.

Whilst at the Bay, I was giggling to myself while perusing all the spatulas and thinking about riding the train home with my purchase and what I could do with it. I'd totally do it... but I don't like jail.

I hope your bag is comfortable, asshole

Wanna waste even more time today?

Have a read of this Tumblr blog where all kinds of douchebaggery on the TTC involving commuters and bags is posted and critiqued.

You can check it out here.

Thanks to AL for the link.

I'm too cheap to spend money on passive-aggressiveness but kudos to this dude

An artist in New York has created a Social Etiquette ad campaign and funded it completely on his own.
Jay Shells told Animal New York, an online magazine, he surveyed 100 people on their top pet peeves while riding the subway and picked 10 to create posters for.

You can read the rest of the story here.

Thanks to AS for the link.

Dexter uses a boat. This guy uses a GO bus

That comforter was stuffed in a black garbage bag and it stunk.

Seat hogs - so much drama!

from:		DF
to:		Crazy train
date:		Thu, Mar 21, 2013 at 10:33 PM
subject:		Seat hog

I got a big huff and a sigh when I asked this woman tonight to move her bag and coat from an aisle seat next to her. She was in the window seat next to it and her friend was kitty corner to her in the aisle seat in the same quad.
A friend of mine was in the adjacent quad which is why I asked her to move her shit... that and seat hogs annoy me. So after huffing and puffing, and blowing lots of hot air, she made a move to move her crap from the seat but at the same time said that she may puke because she was feeling sick.
I said whatever and sat down in the next quad over, being not in the mood for her bullshit drama.
The seat opposite her was empty.
As I sat down in the quad behind my friend, I tapped her on the shoulder and suggested that maybe she should move over here to avoid the line of possible puke. Ok, so maybe I wanted to have a little say in her bullshit drama. PukeWoman proceeded to call me a child.
The man sitting opposite me shook his head as well because he knew she was a lying sack of shit and then kindly offered to switch seats so my friend and I could sit together. I thanked him and declined. LyingSackofShitpukeWoman proceeded to let someone sit directly opposite her (which is where you would think one would puke if they really had to) and then had a lovely conversation with her friend for the rest of the ride. No signs of feeling sick or being nauseous whatsoever.
These people with such unwarranted self entitlement really annoy the crap out of me.

DF

Look at my dirty socks! Look at them!

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No explanation yet why Kitchener-Union train moved away from Bramalea platform with doors open

GO is waiting for Bombardier to provide a report about an incident involving the 7:36 am Bramalea train yesterday said a spokesperson to the Toronto Star.

I told transit reporter Teresa Kalinowski about the incident after I got an email from a reader.

According to the email, the train started to move away from the station with the doors open and people began to run with the train and hopping on while it was in motion. I know it sounds comical, and I laughed when I first read the account, but then I sobered up once I realized how dangerous that was.

"A few seconds after it started moving (the CSA) went on the PA in a hurried voice and said, "PLEASE STAND CLEAR OF THE DOORS. THE DOORS ARE NOW CLOSING!". This was followed by him saying something else I didn't quite catch. I think he was talking to the conductor or something. 

When it finally stopped, the crew got off and did some inspections for a few minutes. Then the train was reversed back to the very spot we started from.

At least it wasn't a repeat of  this.

A+ for keeping it on his lap

Source

Racist is a word that gets thrown around too casually by some

I managed to make it all the way to the age of 38 without ever being called racist. It was actually in a comment on this website where a troll accused me of being racist and targeting brown people. It was an unfounded accusation.

I don't like labeling people by their ethnicity on this website and I hate that I had to write the word "brown" to describe what prompted the racist accusation.

In my opinion, there's no merit, unless if it's criminal in nature and a suspect is on the loose, in describing a person's physical or ethnic features when telling a story. I'm afraid I'll have to make some exceptions when telling this story.

Last night, on the bus, I was sitting behind a man who was watching a foreign-language tv episode on his iPhone with no headphones and at the loudest volume possible.

One lady asked him to turn it down because she could no longer hear her phone call. This made me laugh out loud because of the social etiquette fuckery I was witnessing. She had been blabbing in a ridiculously loud voice before he started watching his show. The whole bus got to listen to her tale about her car having been towed after she parked illegally at the Oshawa hospital and "that's why I have to take the ghetto bus".

At first I thought he turned on his show without headphones to 'out-volume' the lady talking on the phone, but minutes after she ended her call, he kept watching his show at a loud volume.

Of course, this resulted in the sighing, the rolling of eyes and the shaking of heads from fellow passengers.

I asked him if he'd like to borrow my headphones.

He tells me he doesn't like using headphones.

I tell him he's disturbing other passengers.

He tells me he came to Canada for the freedom of will and his will is to watch YouTube on a bus.

I said to him, "I think you mean 'free will'. Disturbing other passengers isn't free will."

He ignores me.

The lady on the phone decides to add her fifty cents to the conversation. 

"You're being rude," she says to him. Pot meet kettle, right?

He ignores her.

I put my earbuds back in and watch the rest of my True Blood episode. 

At some point, phone lady got off at a stop.

When it was my turn, I gathered up my belongings and stood up. I removed my earbuds and made my way into the aisle.

"You're racist," I heard from behind me. 

I turned to face the guy. "You and that lady were both being inconsiderate," I said to him.

"She told me to go back to my country," he says.

"I'm sorry I didn't hear her say that. I don't agree with that," I tell him.

Again, he calls me racist.

The bus driver, who is a visible minority, rolls his eyes at me. "Ignore him," he says. "No matter where people come from, there will always be people who just can't be nice."

How true. 

Truth be told, I wanted to punch the guy. But I didn't... because I don't like jail. 

Transit done right. A Snuggie and an eye mask

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Isn't it nice that GO Transit provides a means for people to dry their boots?

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TTC subways are cheap motel suites for the homeless

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This is why we can't have nice things

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The ultimate commuter train troll

Ok everybody! Remain calm! Mission accomplished. After all that, electrical fire extinguishes itself on LSE express train

From 680 news via RW:

An electrical fire broke out on the 5:53 p.m. on the Lakeshore East GO train on Thursday, March 14, 2013.

After a 680News listener named John punched the fire extinguisher case several times without success, he kicked it about four times before breaking the case.

MORE HERE

So the train hit 88 mph today...

Source

The wheels on the bus, they go cray-cray

from:		KM
to:		"cj@thiscrazytrain.com"
date:		Wed, Mar 13, 2013 at 7:22 PM
subject:		TTC excitement

Hi CJ!

So I wanted to write you and tell you about my adventure on the bus last Thursday (March 7). I'm sure you get lots of stories from your readers and have heard about the crazy people on the TTC. But this story I just HAD the tell.

It all started at Kipling station waiting for the 191 to Humber College. There was this guy acting...weird. He kept walking in the middle of the road, raising his arms and yelling nonsense. He kept going up in people's faces and staring then walking away. I stood there hoping he wouldn't be getting on my bus- and oh! He did! While everyone was piling out of the bus he tried to get on (the bus driver trying to tell him to wait his turn which of course didn't work).

We finally get on the bus and start our journey north. Then this guy starts sneezing/ coughing obnoxious and  loud. So I was like "jeeze I'm glad this guy isn't sitting beside me!" (Strategically choosing my seat when I got on!) Then he stands up puts his feet on the seat, keeps cough-sneezing, and starts to yell. He then starts to swing from the yellow bars! At this point we were on the highway and at this point I was just really uncomfortable so I got up to tell the bus driver (y'know in case he HADN'T noticed). I asked him to do something about the guy at the next stop and sat back down.

The guy kept up with this behaviour but started to shove his phone in people's faces, playing music on his phone, dancing in the middle of the bus and yelling at the top of his lungs! At this point the bus driver asked him to stop because he was making too much noise (really that's all???). He calmed down for a minute but then persisted to jump on the seats, swinging from the bars and yelling! By the time I got off at Humber College he was planting his feet on the windows and hanging on to the top bar. When I was getting off the bus I informed the driver that this was COMPLETELY unacceptable and that something should have been done (I know he couldn't have confronted the guy because obviously he was unstable) which is when the driver SAYS he called it in.

Either way, when I got to work I called TTC to talk to their customer service/ tell my story/ ask what their protocol is supposed to be. The woman who I spoke with (very nice by the way! She should be a driver...) Informed me that a driver will call it in and usually arrange for the police or security to meet them at a future stop to remove the individual. Now, I'm not sure if this happened or if he called it in like he told me he did, but I didn't see anything. I gave a detailed description of the crazy man (I had about 20 minutes or so to gather details).

She collected my description and my info and said they might call me back after she passed on my complaint. I wanted to make sure that they knew what the guy looked like in case something happened to a future passenger or the driver.

Anyways, what I think bothered me the MOST was that I was the ONLY person that did anything when everyone was quite obviously uncomfortable! It upsets me that nobody else was concerned or concerned enough to say anything!

- K
That's my story.. Sorry it was so long and sorry it got sent in 2 emails, but I really hope that everyone else can stand up and say something when they see something like this happening.

Yeah, how come you douchebags *don't* move?

from:		AM
to:		"cj@thiscrazytrain.com"
date:		Thu, Mar 14, 2013 at 8:07 AM
subject:		Train beef

I'm on the 7:59 out of Whitby and feeling feisty. Again this morning I had to practically crawl over a woman's lap to get to an open window seat. The woman across from her was gracious enough to move her legs and let me in, but this woman didn't even look up from her phone.
The same thing happened last night on the 5:53 out of Union. I'm sure it happens to people all the time, but there needs to be some kind of donkey decree that states if you absolutely have to sit in the "asshole seat," blocking empty seats during rush hour, the least you could do is move your legs and let people in. Come on...
And now, coffee. Maybe coffee will help. And a blowtorch ;)

People suck

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I think it's time for "You must be this tall to ride" signs, no?

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7:53 am train out of Oshawa... please, make yourself at home

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I *will* jump over you

I sucked at long jump, track & field and gymnastics as a kid so if you want a double amputation, you best be moving your legs. The hell you think this is? Your bedroom?

Imma serenade you all... m'kay?

via Facebook:

A person on my train has fallen asleep, iPhone in hand and is currently sleep scrolling through all of the sounds on the phone. It's quite enjoyable. - AH

I should have mentioned ...

I'm on vacay. I'm back at this racket at full capacity Friday.

Cringe-worthy train conversation

Still a better love story than Twilight...

This just happened...

Really?

I did learn from Twitter that someone on the 7am train out of Oshawa did get into a fist fight with someone on that train as it was leaving Whitby, but I wasn't involved.

Look, if there's ever a delay because of me, it will involve either a blow torch, chainsaw or axe... but a punch? I don't punch... because I don't like jail.

Seen at a bus stop in London, ON

And the result...

From 102.3 BOBfm (source)

There’s a happy ending for Mason Smith thanks to some high powered help pitching in. After the story about how Mason had lost his favourite stuffed animal took off yesterday, a ton of people tried everything they could to help. It all started when Ashlee Smith, his mum, posted an advertisement on Kijiji begging for help and offering a $200 writing, “He is blind and this is his comfort, I need to find this lamb- please help!” Almost 30 000 people saw the ad with the toys description, and it eventually came to the attention of the company in America who originally made the toy. The problem is it had been discontinued, but that wasn’t about to stop them from lending a helping hand. Scott Clarke, President of Douglas Company said that they have the design studio right in their factory so they will now be making two more toys for Mason. As he put it, “One to hold, and one more to have as a spare!” They’re even replacing it for free.

On the LSW last night, people chose to stand rather than clear this seat on an express train

I would have cleaned it up.

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They have the internet on computers now

from:		TM
to:		cj@thiscrazytrain.com
date:		Mon, Mar 4, 2013 at 4:23 PM
subject:		Presto Contest

Did you see the contest Presto is running? I decided to check out the rules and found this gem... "If you would like to enter the contest and do not have access to the Internet, you may obtain a paper entry form from info@prestocard.ca".
---
Really, Presto. Let's think this one through, shall we?

Presented without comment

Needs more Hazmat suit

Burlington GO Station washroom

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I'm sorry, what?

This is an actual book. It's sold on Amazon.com. There are no reviews. Shocking.

First it was catalytic converters and now it's pick-up truck tailgates

I had the antenna of my Chevrolet Equinox stolen at the Oshawa GO station the summer of 2011 and gas siphoned from my tank the summer of 2009, but all that pales in comparison to what happened to one GO patron at the Bradford GO station last Wednesday.
Just over two years ago, GO patrons were advised to be weary of people targeting vehicles parked at east GTA GO stations for catalytic converters, now thieves are trolling for pick-up truck tailgates in the north.

Bees writes:

Hi Cindy,

Wondered if you might put the word out that someone has been shopping in the Bradford GO train parking lot - for tailgates. Yep, mine was stolen off my Ford F150 Lariat pickup on Wed. Feb 27. Not sure if it was locked or not - likely not, unfortunately, but the lock mechanism can be punched out pretty easily, apparently. My  research indicates that tailgate theft is a lucrative market - easy to steal (in about 30 seconds - see this youtube clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGNqSwiGS48) and is expensive to replace - about $1500 if you go through legitimate means.
I had no idea my tailgate could be a target! I'm a country girl who loves her truck and this made me pretty sad (and ticked off, of course). I see lots of other gorgeous and expensive pickup trucks regularly parked at the Bradford station and want to warn others. Truck owners should make sure they lock up the tailgate - the remote might not do it - mine required the key - and a further measure is to back into spaces up to other cars or walls, fences, etc. so the thieves can't get at the tailgate.

This incident was reported to GO and they're checking the security camera tapes.

This is pretty shitty. Bastards! Right?

Here's the video. Protect your trucks, peeps.

I have a strong suspicion people are driving to GO stations drunk

So we had the donkey at Maple on Friday and this superstar ↑ today at Ajax.

Then there's this driver ↓ at the Whitby station. Just because you have all that space in a disabled parking spot doesn't mean you need to be a jerk about it.

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Park how I want to - Maple GO Station

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