Not sure if there was butt hurt happening here

from:		Mandy
to:		cj@thiscrazytrain.com
date:		Tue, Aug 20, 2013 at 11:06 AM
subject:		Quiet zone

Dear Ms Smith:
I found your website through a Google Search and Twitter. It seems you're an influencer when it comes to matters involving GO Transit.
I welcome your opinion on a situation I faced yesterday on a train that left Union at 4:53 pm heading towards Whitby. Myself and my three children, 10, 8 and 5 were returning home from the CNE. My oldest wanted to sit upstairs as we had come in that way and they can see the scenery better. We went up and sat together. The train wasn't very full at the time when we sat but by the time we left, it was packed.
One lady was upset that I wasn't holding my youngest in my lap. She was speaking to a friend she knew who was seated and I heard her question why all my kids were sitting. I didn't realize there were rules that children had to stand. My kids were excited after a good day at the Ex and my eldest and I were talking about our upcoming cottage plans, when the lady who took offence to my kids sitting while she stood, leaned over and told me, "This is a quiet zone, you should pay attention to the announcements."
Are these people not parents?
Shouldn't GO be relaxing this rule at the height of the Exhibition?
We weren't the only family on board. Where are we to go? We paid. We got there first when seats were available.
Are all of us supposed to stand after 8 hours of walking on the first level to appease people who, for one day out of 300, after working in an office all day, may have to stand and may have to put up with excitable children?
I emailed in a complaint with GO Transit but I am not satisfied. I plan on speaking to the media as well as I feel quiet zones are absurd on commuter trains operating during events and tourist season.
I noticed you've done some coverage on the Quiet Zone project but it's not clear to me if you're for or against this initiative. I await your response.

Mandy P

from:		Cj Smith
to:		Mandy
date:		Tue, Aug 20, 2013 at 5:16 PM
subject:		Re: Quiet zone

Hi Mandy!
I'm flattered that you think I influence anything when it comes to matters all GO Transit but the truth is, I don't. Don't be shocked. I really am not that important.

My website is mostly a means for me to highlight nonsense exhibited by fellow commuters and disruptions in service that provide an inconvenience and the lack of communication surrounding these disruptions. It's first world commuting problems all the time!

The Quiet Zone is a pilot project. It is not enforced. It is not policed and it surely is not the law of the land.
If anything, it's a pilot project in common courtesy and one that many commuters have taken to heart, such as the lady who pointed it out to you that you were in a Quiet Zone.

I really wish these same commuters would take a similar assertive stand to reminding people to keep their feet in their shoes, their shoes off the seats, to not smoke on platforms and to keep seats free of belongings so others can sit without asking if they can sit.

It's good you expressed your annoyance to GO Transit. I'm sure you're not the only family feeling like they have to sequester themselves "at the back of the bus" for having small children with them on the train this summer.  I'm sorry the woman made you feel like you were a nuisance.

For what it's worth, since you mentioned why you wanted to sit in the upper level, I do notice that many parents believe their kids want to sit up there and it's the first place they go when they board, but it's been my observation, even with my own daughter, that looking out the window while the train is moving is only exciting for the first two minutes and the rest of the 56-minute long (non-express ride) is spent with me trying to keep her occupied and amused (i.e. Toronto just can't come fast enough).

I have never seen any kid sit in a seat, on their knees and staring out the window for the entire train ride without not once fidgeting, kicking, jumping, yelling, asking for food, complaining about the ride, complaining about the length of the ride, wanting a book, wanting a toy, wanting to watch a DVD (again) and quite simply, just wanting to talk - not once. Not in five years.

To put it in perspective, and I am in no way defending this woman, but to answer your question, yes, a lot of us are parents and for many of us, those two hours we spend on the train five days a week are the only "me time" many of us get, especially the mothers. So many of them want to spend it in peace. They want to snooze, read, browse for shoes without being interrupted, watch a movie without kids yelling in their ear, or just sit and veg and enjoy the peace and quiet because they know once their key is in the door, there won't be much of that for the rest of the night.

So when you trample up the stairs of an express train home from Union Station with all your kids in tow, hyped up from a fantastic day at the Ex, people groan, roll eyes or express annoyance because they feel that their quest for a quiet ride home might not happen.

So it's not you, it's us.

I don't think there's anything GO Transit can do to change or manage passengers' expectations of other passengers, including those using the system as a means to get to an event, concert, convention, day-trip or tourist attraction. We all have to find a way amonst ourselves to get along.

So when this happens again, take the opportunity to tell the woman that you paid your fare, you can sit where you want, you will do your best to keep the kids entertained and they're entitled to sit. If she doesn't like it, she can complain to GO Transit and ask they implement a Kid Zone pilot project and make the first level of all coaches during rush hour the family seating only zone.

Personally I'm tired of this crap. It appears society can no longer govern itself accordingly.

This is the real issue. It's not kids or Quiet Zones or people expecting everyone to be quiet. It's the fact that no one can be accountable for their own actions.

Now knowing what you know, you have some options. You can time your ride home when you go to the Ex again to be on a non-express train, or you avoid the top-level if it is an express train.

In return, maybe you can suggest to GO Transit they remind passengers they will have to be a little more understanding during the summer time when families are on-board for a day trip and be willing to put up with a little inconvenience.

Cj

from:		Mandy
to:		cj@thiscrazytrain.com
date:		Tue, Aug 20, 2013 at 9:40 PM
subject:		Re: Quiet zone

Hi Cj
Thank you for the reply. My kids are actually well behaved. They may not have looked out the window for the entire train ride but they weren't noisy or bothersome. All of them sat in their seats for the entire ride. Not once did I have to tell them to Shh or be quiet so although I get what you're saying, unless parents have holy terrors at home, not everyone should be on full alert for a major meltdown just because a family boards the train. That's a hell of a assumption. How did you come to that? Maybe this woman was just being an elitist cow. I didn't get the impression she was a mother. I got the impression she looked at my kids and felt they should be standing with tape on their mouths. If you were there, you would understand.
From your email it sounds like you don't support Quiet Zones. I don't think anyone should as it doesn't seem like a realistic expectation if GO Transit isn't enforcing or monitoring them. I also went to their website and saw that it's a pilot project so there really is no mandate. People can sit where they want. I read the rules. My kids were following them all.
I'm not about to change when I ride a train to accomodate the working folks, who if it's true, expect quiet because their home lives are a mess. That's just stupid. You're in a public space. It's unreasonable to expect silence.
I also find the trains themselves to be noisy. No one else finds the swaying sounds and track vibrations noisy? Are the trains themselves actually qiuet?
I figure you could be maybe put something on your site telling people who read it not to be so judgemental and also not expect me to hold a five year old on my lap for 45 minutes. If a person wants  to sit, they can get to the train earlier or too bad, so sad! There's no rule on GO Transit's website that says seats are for adult paying passengers only.
Anyway, thanks for your time.

Mandy