Moses and the "Green" Sea

from:		Tom W
to:		"cj@thiscrazytrain.com"
date:		Fri, Dec 20, 2013 at 3:36 PM
subject:		Platform plonkers

Hey CJ,
We exchanged some texts a while back about people on the platform blocking those getting off the very train they want to board. You asked for something website-worthy, and so, with 40 minutes to spare on a Friday afternoon, here it is :

We all know of door donkeys - but did you know of another breed of GO Train user who lurks by the *outside* of train doors? I speak of "Platform plonkers". 

Picture the scene: 5:15 pm, a platform at Union station, crowded with countless commuters wanting nothing more than to get home quickly. The train pulls in. But what's this? There are people *on* the train who wish to get *off*! And thanks to fundamental physics and common courtesy, no-one can board the train until all would-be alightees have completed their task.  

The crowd on the platform parts - but not like the Red Sea. More like the narrowest of grudging gaps, barely enough for single file. Those on the train struggle to get off, squeezing their way through the seething mass of platform people. Then, at the end of the gap, somebody is staring at their phone. The alightees push past the phone-starer, who fails to realise they're getting body-checked every three seconds because they're in the way.
The seething mass isn't happy - they want to get on the train Now! *sigh*... If only they'd left a sensible space for alightees, they'd already be on the train. Plonkers.

Bottom line: The quicker you let people get off the train, the quicker you can get on. Make space for them.
  
Tom W  
P.S. If you do publish this, might I suggest waiting to the New Year to holiday - dulling of the memory is minimised (Done, but late - sorry!)
P.P.S The Red Sea thing has me thinking Moses would make a good CSA...