To quote Dr. Evil, "Let me tell you a little story about a man named Sh!"

Oh the Quiet Zone. How I hate what you've become - a playground for passengers with pent-up passive aggressive anger issues and for those who don't give a shit about anyone but themselves.

I wear headphones. I gave up on the Quiet Zone even before there was a Quiet Zone. I learned early on that some people can't help themselves and the worse, THE WORSE, are the helicopter mothers. The ones who phone their teenage children at stupid o'clock in the morning to drill them on whether they are out of bed, found the clean underwear left on the tea cart in the living room, if they got breakfast going, brushed their teeth, put their lunch in their backpack, grabbed the spare key, fed the dog, wiped their ass and ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! and ARGH! My mother never phoned me any morning of my high school life to make sure I was up, fed and dressed. NOT EVEN ONCE. If I couldn't find my underwear at 14, I sure as hell wouldn't be holding down a job at 24. I don't know... I don't know about today's parents of teenagers. Mind you, I have a daughter with autism spectrum disorder. Maybe I will have to hover? I don't plan on it, though. I grew up with a mentally disabled sister. My mom sure as hell didn't hover over her - at least nothing like what I have witnessed on the train via these one-sided phone calls.

All the Quiet Zone did was force these moms to the lower level, but there are still the moms who don't give a shit and still make the calls. I sat next to one this morning who started her call in the Rouge Hill dead zone. All I needed to hear was, "Hello? Hello!!! We're breaking up. HELLO!? Did you find the orange juice?" and I was out. I turned up the volume on my episode of Sons of Anarchy and disappeared.

I get, on average, one to two emails a week (same with text messages) from passengers pissed off at people who can't shut up or who sit right under the Quiet Zone sign and conduct loud conversations on topics nobody gives a rat's ass about. But yesterday was a special day. There must have been something in the air because I received an email and two simultaneous text messages all around the same time and another email this morning.

from:		DR
to:		cj@thiscrazytrain.com
date:		Tue, Apr 8, 2014 at 7:41 AM
subject:		Quiet zone

7:15 am LSE express to Union.

25 min later of talking about trailers, the conversation continues...

from:		J
to:		cj@thiscrazytrain.com
date:		Tue, Apr 8, 2014 at 5:55 PM
subject:		Welcome to the quiet zone on the Kitchener line

Where people take three seats with their crap, foot ride (at least the shoes are off) and have 25 minute phone conversations at volume 11.
I want all the chainsaws....

Would prefer to remain anonymous,  please.

Text Exchange Number One

Text Exchange Number Two
(What makes this one funny is this is a friend of mine, but I didn't know that at first)