May we offer some love advice? "We" as in your fellow GO bus passengers

I worked late last night and as a result, took a later bus home. I quite enjoy rolling through Oshawa after 8 pm because it's a unique cast of characters that make their appearance known in that city.

Meet Bob. I don't know his real name but he looked like a Bob. Bob boarded the bus at the Oshawa Centre and sat right next to me, iPhone glued to his ear and a pained expression on his face. Clearly the conversation he was having was not about which spatula to get at Walmart (the conversations I have with my husband).

Because he had the volume cranked, I could hear Melissa, too. Bob made it very clear who he was talking to as he used her name a lot but I'll call her "Melissa". Melissa sounded very angry.

Melissa was upset that Bob has friended a female neighbour on Facebook and not in a way to post recipes about low fat muffins on each other's wall,  or to muse about the weather such as, "Are you enjoying today's "Sprinter" weather?". Melissa believes Hilary is seducing Bob.

Trust me when I say this was not a conversation to be having on a bus. Melissa was rhyming off all the times Bob has been in her garage for service and emphatically reminded him that these inspections have always included an incredible amount of lube, oil & filter.

My ears were burning. I mean, seriously, they were on fire.

I stared out the window as Bob tried to explain he was not attracted to Hilary and he just feels sorry for her because she's a single mother and he didn't want to appear rude.

Melissa wasn't buying it. She fired off a bunch of questions: How did she find you? She needs to know your last name and Superkalifrikiousahmodisish (thats what his last name sounded like) isn't easy to spell. Doesn't she need to know your email address? Why are you lying to me? Why are you hurting me like this? What have I ever done to you? Why do you need her on Facebook? You already have friends! You have me! You don't need her on Facebook!

Bob then got super mad and started shouting. The bus got real quiet. Everyone (all 11 of us) were holding our breath.

Bob started to do something you should never do, and I mean ever, when someone is clearly demonstrating major insecurity issues. He started to list every single thing wrong with Melissa.

Melissa hung up.

Bob was in a rage. He called her back and left an awful voice mail.

Then he threw his phone. On the bus.

A woman sitting where it landed stared at it for a few seconds and then got up to pick it up and brought it back to him.

He took it from her and nodded.

Bob got off four stops before mine. You could actually feel the atmosphere change after he left.

The lady who retrieved his phone and I had a lot to say about Bob. Unfortunately, we couldn't finish our analysis because I had to get off at my stop, but the consensus was that Bob owed Melissa an apology and Melissa needs to address why Bob friending a neighbour on Facebook makes her feel tossed aside.

I would have loved to have heard the driver's take on it.

I can only imagine the stuff GO bus drivers hear.