More about last Thursday's assault on the LSE 4:07 PM train

Those of you who've been around for awhile know my oldest sister, Jennifer is developmentally delayed. I peg her overall maturity to be that of an 8 year old. In addition to her mental challenges, she also suffers from anxiety and depression. She has been on and off medication to treat these chemical imbalances since 1997.

It's funny how strangers and friends, with no idea what it's been like to live with Jennifer, freely offer opinions about her overall care. My parents are constantly defending their decision to have her live with them full time, and fielding questions about what will happen to her when they are gone. What about myself and my two other sisters? What will happen to us when they are gone?

These questions are cruel, insensitive and hurtful. I can appreciate they come from a place of concern, but I have my doubts sometimes, because I know, after witnessing a really bad Jennifer meltdown, these same people thank whatever God they worship that their children aren't like Jennifer. Let's be frank. They're happy they don't have to deal with it, and because they feel they couldn't deal with it, there's this assumption my parents shouldn't have to deal with it. Well they do, but we all appreciate the concern.

If you're familiar with the movie Rainman, you'll understand the difficulty people like Dustin Hoffman's character, Ray, have with "transitioning". Meaning, we can't do this now, so we have to do something else. Or, this show has been cancelled, so let's go home.

Stubborn and defiant, people like my sister, Jennifer, react badly to these situations and can be difficult to control. You might as well be trying to reason with a grapefruit.

Jennifer can be aggressive if she's frustrated because she refuses to believe there isn't a way to fix what happened. It's incredibly draining and exhausting to deal with these situations.

So why did I write all this? Only to try to give people a better understanding about these situations and as a preamble to what happened last Thursday.

A CSA was not assaulted. Let's get that part straight. Another passenger was assaulted but only because he intervened in a nasty altercation between a man like my sister and his Personal Support Worker (PSW). The man and his PSW were traveling on the Lakeshore East to attend a group session the man goes to every Thursday like clockwork. My sister does the same on Saturday nights. When it became clear that the overall delay to the 4:07 PM train meant he would miss his group session, he became agitated and frustrated and lashed out at his PSW. His PSW attempted to restrain him as he was upset the train was not moving and demanding someone make the "man" move it. Another passenger, familiar with people like the man, stepped in and was accidentally kicked in the "baggage" area.

It sounds ugly. I can promise you it probably was ugly. I have too many stories of similar situations with my sister and I can't bring myself to share them. But when there have been times where the public has assisted, and not often with good intentions, these people then scold my parents (or me) for not having my sister in a group home, or in an institution, or for just being out in public with her. Hurtful stuff really. I feel for my mom the most in these situations. She's put up with a lot. She was incredibly strong when we were younger but now that I'm a mom myself, and dealing with a child with her own issues (Asutism Spectrum Disorder) my mom calls me and cries. Mostly out of frustration. Sometimes out of humiliation. And often out of desperation.

Be kind. That's all I ask.