Friday night LSE trains are how this blog/site got its name

Any train after 9 pm leaving Union is bound to be crazy. And it didn't take long for the phone to start ringing after this man dialed some up for me while I was on Platform 25.

I had dinner and drinks with two people who I met on Twitter, and through this site, and although I wasn't completely sober, I was sober enough to know that this man who decided to chat me me up was getting too friendly and I had to get rid of him, and fast. He was very drunk because he had lost his job that afternoon and was afraid to go home to his wife and kids in Ajax and tell them. That part I can sympathize with. The part I can't sympathize with is when he made a move to hug me. Whoah! Back off, buddy, and go home to your sandwich! I told him I had to go to Oakville as the LSW was waiting on 24, and I hopped on-board and and sat down. I had no idea when the train was leaving and with hourly service on the LSE, I was pissed off I would have to possibly wait another hour for a train just so I could avoid a drunken encounter. Luckily the LSE pulled in while the LSW was still waiting and I watched as my drunk buddy get on. When he was out of sight, I bolted from the LSW, high-tailed it six coaches down the platform and hopped on the LSE. I put my sunglasses on, tied my hair back, and buried my face into my chest -- you know, to hide (which is laughable since this "look" is all over Twitter, but like I said, I wasn't 100% sober).

I stayed this way until I witnessed (well, I heard) a drunk guy slap his drunk girlfriend.

WHAT THE HELL?

Before I had a chance to stand up and plant a shoe into the drunk guy's nose, this other man stood up and hauled the abusive jerk from his seat and pushed him towards the stairs. The man, dressed in business attire, was much larger than the drunk guy and mad as hell. Drunk guy went down the stairs, swearing, and soon after, his drunk girlfriend followed. They remained in the bi-level. Somewhere around Rouge Hill, drunk guy passed out and drunk girlfriend phoned every lifeline she had to tell them she was drunk -- that her boyfriend was drunk, and how slutty a waitress they had was. You could hear her from Oshawa. I am sure of it.

At Ajax, where they needed to exit, drunk girlfriend was unable to rouse drunk guy. She shook him. She yelled at him. She punched his arm. The CSA announced he was closing the doors and drunk girlfriend flew into a rage. She bolted down the stairs to hold the doors open while screaming at drunk guy to wake up and get off. Business attire man had already left and no one else was willing to get the jerk off the train. The CSA announced several times to stand clear off the doors, someone hit the strip, alarms started to sound and I made my way downstairs with the sole intention of pushing drunk girlfriend off the train. Natural consequences, people. If you're too drunk to get off a train and you miss your stop - too bad. Some of us want to go home.

While I was telling drunk girlfriend to get out of the doorway, with about 11 passengers watching, the CSA showed up, looking angry and frustrated. She told him she couldn't get drunk guy off the train. The CSA went up and literally rolled the guy off. It was beautiful. I also gave drunk girlfriend an earful. If she had busted the doors, we'd be going nowhere.

And that my friends is why you, me, ride this crazy train.