Army crawls and bathroom stalls

Wednesday morning, while boarding the train (AND ON THE DAY I LEFT MY CANE AT HOME) I made the mistake of leading with my left leg when I boarded (with less than 30 seconds to the doors closing) and felt a pop followed by pain -- pain everywhere; behind my left knee, radiating to the front of the knee and then down to the ankle.

I was held hostage by the pain and unable to stand up until we arrived at Union. It took help from the CSA, a TSO, a "person transporter" (aka a wheelchair) and the kindness of strangers to get myself to Front Street. From there, I was met by a co-worker who helped me to the office. As we were crossing Front, where my movement was just a shuffle, this woman in a white SUV blared her horn, gestured and gave us both the finger as she impatiently waited for both of us to get across. As she passed by us, she had her window rolled down and shouted obscenities about how "roads are for cars" and said we "both need a fucking kick in the head". Ah, Toronto. And to my American friends, stop believing all that "Canadians are so polite" propaganda - it's not 100% true.

At work, I called my doctor and physiotherapist. I was advised to rest, elevate and ice. I did this until another co-worker finished her work and was willing to drive me home. I am forever grateful for the people I work with and my immediate supervisors. I work for a compassionate group of people who are supportive and understanding. It helps relieve the anxiety I have about the impact my injury has on work. I can work from home, but my job entails a lot of hands-on interaction most days, so it's difficult not to be there.

I went to physio. I came home and spent 10 minutes getting up the stairs. It took me 20 minutes to get into bed. I have a bed you need to climb into. I should have switched with my daughter who has a bed you can fall into. Once in bed, I suddenly had to pee. I was frozen in terror because it took so long just to get in bed. And my husband was already fast asleep in another room and sleeps like the dead. How was I going to get out? The swelling and inflammation made it impossible to twist, move, or hold my left leg up in any way - not without screaming in pain kind of pain. It was the worst pain. I managed to make it onto my stomach and like something out of the movie The Ring, I slid forward out of bed using my arms to brace myself against the floor and like a rhino sinking into mud, I made it to the carpet and then lay there like a bloated snake who just finished eating the rhino.

Now what? I couldn't get up so I army crawled my way to the bathroom. It was all so ridiculous that I started to spontaneously cry from laughter. Once in the bathroom, I began to appreciate the design of bathroom stalls with their many bars. Using the bathroom counter, I managed to hoist myself up to a standing position and using a plunger and shower door for leverage, managed to use the facilities. Thirty minutes later, I was back in bed - exhausted and weepy.

Today, after three intense physio treatments and icing like crazy for the past 48 hours, I still can't bend my knee but I can put weight on it. Using my right leg as the dominant leg is now causing my bursitis to act up and this morning, I had to slide down the stairs because there is a stabbing pain just above my right knee cap. When I got to the bottom, I tried to see if I could go back up a step and my right leg said no. There is very little strength left. I need to get on top of this issue or else I will have ZERO mobility.

Right now, I am sitting up and surviving because of extra strength Naproxxen. I am exhausted, but in a better mental state than last week thanks to the support of my best friends, husband and co-workers.

I know many GO Transit employees read this site. I would like to thank Mary Ann and the ladies and men of the Lost and Found team for all their kindness, sympathy and help on Wednesday. I've never needed the support of the Customer Care Team and I was impressed with their teamwork and their overall compassion.