Howdy neighbour!

Submitted by Anonymous

Dear Metrolinx,

Thank you so much for the wake up call on December 22. Although I don't remember ordering one, it was just what I needed at 4:30 am on the first day of my Christmas vacation!

Sleep is, as I'm sure you'll agree, highly overrated. As a rapidly expanding transit agency you understand the need to be permanently on duty. You are open 24/7 - I know this because I called your 24 hour emergency line a few weeks ago to report an alien landing on the tracks. 

That was some scary stuff wasn't it? I thought at the time it might be one of these dreaded 'trespasser incursions' - but, fortunately, it was all perfectly legitimate. Just one of the many track maintenance programs you have underway to help us get to work quicker and make our lives easier.

I was having a bad dream that morning so you did me a favour. It was about an alien invasion funnily enough - another one! No actually it was the same one. It's interesting how difficult it is to get this out of my head. Perhaps it's because it keeps on happening...?

It was a quiet weekend after your call. Isn't this such a nice holiday? So peaceful. I hope you got as much rest as I did. I'm sure you'll be back to your beeping best now the New Year is upon us!

I do have one small request. If you could try and set my next wake up call for just a little later - say maybe... 5am? And try not to schedule it on my holidays? Oh, and is there any way you could program the back-beeper-wake-up-thingy to be just a little less loud? They are so abrasive aren't they? Just like your train drivers and bus drivers and safety inspectors, I need to get a good night's rest so I can be all alert and refreshed for work in the morning. I'm sure you understand.

Thanks again for the wake up call. I hope you have a healthy, successful and restful new year.

Sincerely,

Your neighbour near Union Station